Rules for the Kansas City Obama Rally



The Rally for Obama on Saturday is going to be huge. They're expecting tens of thousands of people. The most overlooked aspect of this event is that No special parking arrangements have been made and once again Kansas City's lack of parking and planning will be on display.

However, there are a few rules that are important to follow. TKC has put together a convenient list of guidelines for d-bags who plan to attend:

  • No signs, banners, umbrellas, lawn chairs or coolers can be carried onto the grounds. Volunteers are making signs that will be distributed during the rally. Judging from the excitement, I hear that Obama himself might provide fishes and loaves . . . OR maybe the crowd will simply be sustained by their sense of self-satisfaction.

  • No tickets are required but members of the public are asked to RSVP - ACORN will be taking registrations so each person will be counted 75 times.

  • Yet again, the Saturday Obama Rally is probably the best place to meet easily swayed women and white guys who will loan money.

  • Attendance absolves every member of the crowd of their white guilt for at least one week. A turnout of more than 50k and Kansas City officially earns the label of "progressive" until the next divisive local issue with racial overtones is exploited by local politicos and talk show hosts.

  • Cheer for Obama's plan to fix the economy, if you hear it. (You won't)

  • It'll be fun to watch so many people chant the Obama slogan that was stolen from the Mexicans . . . It'll make it a lot less hurtful when he throws Latinos under the bus.

  • Notice that only homeless people use the term "Change" more often.

  • Be sure to cheer for any mention of Kansas City's decrepit sewers. Just like Mayor Funky, give him a lot of credit for pointing out a problem rather than holding him accountable for fixing it.

    Overall, despite bad parking . . . It should be a great time as long nobody asks any real questions that don't correspond to talking points and Kansas City once again celebrates a cult of personality rather than any talk of issues that impact this town.
  • Comments

    1. Tony,
      This is the most humorist post you have ever written.

      ReplyDelete
    2. Yes, humorist indeed Tony.

      ReplyDelete
    3. Notice that only homeless people use the term "Change" more often.
      hahahaha glad you are going back to being somewhat funny!!!!

      ReplyDelete
    4. I like Obama because it means more free stuff.
      I like free stuff.

      ReplyDelete
    5. I can has cheeseburger? Oh NO!!!

      ReplyDelete
    6. I'll agree, a great post, brought a smile. You're always an interesting read and sometimes a good one, too.

      ReplyDelete
    7. please....NO ni99ers for president. please.

      ReplyDelete
    8. Ouch.

      Race has nothing to do with it.

      The only color that matters is Green and Red.

      Obama is on the wrong side of both.

      He wants to take away my green and he is a red socialist.

      ReplyDelete
    9. sometimes i think TKC sits down to pee

      ReplyDelete
    10. Eventually you racists will wake up and understand that hate will not get you what you want.

      I only pray you dont teach your kids this crap!

      ReplyDelete
    11. Wow. "please....NO ni99ers for president. please." You are an idiot and exactly what is wrong with America. Disagree based on ideology or abortion, or something substantial, but on the basis of race? You are dumb. Put some effort into thinking instead of relying on stereotypes, fear, rhetoric,etc. Dummy.

      ReplyDelete

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