Thursday, July 31, 2008

TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! DOES MAYOR FUNKY HAVE AN OCCULT CONNECTION??? MYSTERIOUS CRYSTALS SHOWN IN KANSAS CITY'S HIGHEST OFFICE!!!



Stories of misguided faith in Kansas City are not uncommon and especially sad.

Long before Mayor Mark Funkhouser took office, a trusted source told TKC:

"You know his wife is a Wiccan, right?"

At first I thought it was gossip but over the past year evidence has mounted regarding Gloria Squitiro's wacky religious beliefs. Last year, Hearne Christopher quoted Ms. Squitiro saying that she didn't subscribe to any organized religion and had several conversations with her higher power several times an hour . . . Needless to say, this wasn't exactly comforting.

Yesterday, a great many Kansas City residents were disturbed over an e-mail touting a concert & workshop of a Native American shaman closely affiliated with Mayor Mark Funkhouser.

A reporter from Kansas City's paper of record quickly backed off the story at the behest of Mayor Funky's PR flack but still stood by a great many of the initial details. Generally, matters of faith are very carefully, condescendingly reported by the mainstream media. For better or worse, my Catholic school upbringing coupled with my subscription to the Skeptical Inquirer won't allow me to take the same kind of faux-objective pose.

WITH THE HELP OF KICKASS TKC TIPSTERS, THIS BLOG PROVIDES A BIT OF PROOF AND CONCERN FROM CITY HALL DENIZENS THAT GLORIA SQUITIRO'S ADHERENCE TO WITCHCRAFT, THE OCCULT AND VARIOUS FORMS OF MYSTICISM ARE REGULARLY MANIFESTED AT CITY HALL IN THE FORM OF CRYSTALS COMMONLY USED BY NEW AGE WACKOS!!!

The sad thing is, I'm not the first to take notice of these crystals which are placed carefully on the windowsills of the Mayor's office. TKC has talked with 2 other Kansas City reporters at major media outlets and they also confirmed the careful placement of three crystals by the Mayor's windows. MSM in Kansas City decided that this detail wasn't important or relevant to bring to the attention of Kansas City. It's either fear or bias that has kept them from asking a simple question so far . . . In this instance, they act as gatekeepers, they decided what was important for the public to know rather than letting the public make their own decisions.

And at this point I think it's important to express a little bit of love for all of the world's major religions and even a few of their spin-offs. TKC is especially fond of snake handlers because it seems like a pretty good show. This isn't about who has the true faith but more about honesty . . . Well, that and I think New Age philosophy is dangerous, misguided, lame and has awful music.

Nevertheless, TKC isn't completely claiming that people don't have the right to whatever superstition they choose but the subterfuge carried out by the mainstream press, especially The Star is disgusting. Sadly, yesterday's affiliation with a Native American shaman isn't the first dalliance with the occult for Mayor Funky. Longtime TKC readers might remember one of Funkhouser's first public embarrassments was willingly sharing the stage and providing a nice introduction for a Wiccan priestess.

And of course, there's the flimsy argument that the crystals are simply ornamental or decorative. I wouldn't even doubt there might be some phony geology loving excuse cooked up and then taken without question or study by lazy reporters . . . But then why are the spooky crystals placed so methodically? Do they have any relation to Squitiro's other strange religious beliefs since they are commonly used in New Age Faith practices? Like it or not, these stones seem to be the same kind of pseudo religious relics that some quacks claim can cure cancer. Also, the "decoration defense" can also be used for The Ten Commandments, The Islamic Star and crescent or a satanic pentagram. Most people with any kind of sense or a respect for the Constitution opt to keep religious symbols and bad decorations far away from City Government. Sadly, I doubt they'll ever be any kind of follow-up.

And I guess I have to be as forthright as possible on my humble jokey blog:

I don't really have any respect for people who are into this New Age Crystal garbage or at least those serious enough about it to lay cash down and buy the merchandise.

TKC's opinion notwithstanding:

IT IS A FACT THAT MYSTERIOUS CRYSTALS WITH A NOT SO INSIGNIFICANT (PHONY) RELIGIOUS CONNOTATION ARE ON DISPLAY IN THE OFFICE OF KANSAS CITY'S MAYOR!!!

This fact just might shed some light on so many rumors circulating about the weird beliefs of Gloria Squitiro and her subsequent influence at City Hall.

It's a fact that was unreported by The Kansas City Star.

The placement of these alleged New Age crystals also demonstrates the lack of decorum and professionalism still at work in the office of Mayor Mark Funkhouser.

I'm sure that the last remaining Funkhouser acolytes might jump to his defense without using their reason but it's my contention that support for Mayor Funky and his wife is support for mysticism and false idols.

Strangely, I think this is the kind of thing that happens when people put all of their faith in politicians . . . They quickly discover that their trust was misplaced and has only been used to support arrogant, stubborn personal ambition and in this case, an even worse alleged devotion to inappropriate and phony religious icons in Kansas City's highest office.

37 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Fucking weird.

Chronic said...

Compared to Christianity/Islam/Judaism Wicca seems pretty logical.

Pastafarianism is where it's at though!

Anonymous said...

Agreed.

Gabriel said...

I HATE this mayor and I think wicca is lot of utter BS, but is this really any different than if he had a crucifix or a menorah displaye din his office? Seems like a stretch to waste energy on this aspect of the mayor and co-mayor's lunacy. On the other hand Tony better watch out or Gloria might cast a spell and turn him into a frog...or worse yet her footbath!

TB in KC said...

I believe they are 'power crystals'. These crystals are much like the ones featured in the movie, Napolean Dynamite. You may remember these crystals were essential for the proper operation of the time travel machine. Perhaps Funky and the mrs. are weary time travelers.

Anonymous said...

You know Mayor Funkhouser talked about going to his church all the time during the election but no one ever asked him where it was. I wonder if they will this time?

Anonymous said...

Yet Tony and all the other sheep out there would never dare say a word about the fact that the former mayor Cleaver devoted his life to and talked constantly to and about an imaginary being floating around in the sky.

If it's ridiculous and a lot of people do it, it's okay. If it's equally or less ridiculous and few people do it, then, oooohhhhh, it's baaaaaaad. Baaaaaa. Baaaaaa. Sheep.

Hoopstar said...

yawn...

Really? This is post worthy?

Anonymous said...

Shut up hippie.

Anonymous said...

No hoopstar makes a good point.

They're just rocks. If you don't believe in it, then it can't hurt or help you. I think it can't hurt or help any either way but that's my heritage coming into play.

Anonymous said...

12:57 - If they're so proud of thier faith then why don't they tell people about it rather than keeping it secret. We all knew that Cleaver was Reverend but nobody dares question Squitiro or Funk about their faith.

Tony is right, all of these symbols are better left at home.

Sharon Stone's clit says said...

Are you kidding me? Another bunch of bullshit to pile on a convenient whipping horse.

How or why do you think punk-ass posts like this do anyone any good? If you want to make this your personal self-degredation playground why don't you take it private?

Anonymous said...

Tony you hate the Mayor and his wife. Too bad they keep giving you ammunition.

Ultimately, Kansas City is the who loses in this grudge match.

Get over it dude.

Jesus said...

We can kick all the wiccans out of office right after we get rid of all the christians.

They are all just ghost stories folks...

Stacey K said...

I'm not a fan of the mayor, but really, would you be worked up if he had a cross on display? There are so many other reasons to dislike them, go back to harping on legitimate ones.

Anonymous said...

Did Cleaver have a cross on display in the office?

If he did - at least those who voted for him knew that he might do that - since he is a Methodist minister.

Had Funk disclosed that he practiced some freaky, new-age, crystal-hugging religion this would not deserve a post, but he acted like he was Mr. Mainstream in his life - just a "regular folk". His concert-hosting and crystal displaying if far from "regular folk" behavior.
Barnes was closer to "regular folk" than the co-mayors.

Anonymous said...

I knew Gloria was into this stuff but I didn't expect it the Mayor's office. I didn't expect her in the Mayor's office.

Go home Gloria, you are really destroying your husband's career and the hard work of a lot of his supporters.

john galt said...

Wiccan Three Fold Law

Ever Mind The Rule Of Three
Three Times Your Acts Return To Thee
This Lesson Well, Thou Must Learn
Thou Only Gets What Thee Dost Earn

Jim Morrison said...

I'm gonna get my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames

DKC said...

Any chance it's just polar bear poop.

Anonymous said...

SEPARATION of church and state (religion and government) doesn't mean a fuckin' thing to our leaders, does it?

Editor K said...

TONY - I saw a story in the KC Star online today about the Bates battle (lawsuit), but couldn't find a link to it on your blog.

Are you okay?

Anonymous said...

Those are not crystals, just her mucus plug.

Tony's cousin said...

Learn how to read the web dumbass.

He already fucking linked that:

http://www.tonyskansascity.com/2008/07/not-really-news-last-months-tkc-content.html

It was a story he did last month

The Steve that everyone likes said...

Mountain out of a molehill much Tony.

I can't believe that a few crystals caused you to write almost a thousand words.

Kind of like Proust's madeleines but with a lot more bold red type.

I agree that there should be a separation of church and state but sometimes a crystal is just a crytal to paraphrase Freud.

Grow up some Tony and you might get a few of my references.

Anonymous said...

Who gives a fuck? I hope you aren't being paid for the time wasted on this story.

I lost a few IQ points just reading the story.

Anonymous said...

So, I guess you are at minus-2 I.Q?

notanon said...

sharon stone's clit = Andrew "my dad isn't man enough for me to take his name" Squitiro

Anonymous said...

Why doesn't Andrew have his dad's name? That's weird.

Anonymous said...

The crystals say: build light rail; build light rail; replace sewers in 2080. At least now we have a real reason for light rail.

WaterWorks said...

Where's the money from the Mayors Christmas Tree fund, Gloria? NTDF funds should NOT go into Gloria's fat hands...

WaterWorks said...

Where's the money from the Mayors Christmas Tree fund, Gloria? NTDF funds should NOT go into Gloria's fat hands...

Anonymous said...

mayor funky should sue you for religious persecution. if you talked trash like that about a cross or a menorah you would be run out of town on a rail... which is not a bad idea most days.

DuneChild said...

I see nothing wrong with the mayor not disclosing his religion during the campaign. If I were to run, I would certainly have to duck any questions about religion, which is a sad commentary on our society today. Our founding fathers would be ashamed of us for bringing religion into our politics. The whole point of the First Amendment was to protect EVERYONE's right to worship as they please. There should never be any religious test for elected office. Let's just face the fact that no two people believe the exact same thing anyway, and just pick they person best suited to the position. If Mayor Funk wants to put funny rocks on his radiator, so be it. It is simply none of my business.

Anonymous said...

It's everybody's business when he's using his office to shill for private for-profit religious conferences.

So: What stupid shit is lurch going to do next?

Anonymous said...

When I asked one of her neighbors what she was like prior to the election--she said all the Brooksider moms thought Gloria was pretty weird--I quote" a naked in the backyard pagan ritual type".......

Bujio said...

Who are you to judge anyone's religious affiliation or beliefs? Just because you do not agree with something does not give you the right to bash another person's ideas.

On the other hand, you do have freedom of speech. However, what you say can make you look like a bigot regardless.