Here's one that you d-bags won't believe until I'm proven right (once again) but I'm proud to be the first one to report it:
JARED ALLEN IS LEAVING KANSAS CITY!!!
How do I know? Other than the fact that I'm awesome, apparently the bad reputation of the Kansas City Star is once again benefiting TKC.
Newspapers and reporters all over the nation have so much hate for The Star that they'd rather send a blog some info than share it with the reporters at a paper where a high-profile trade in question is soon to take place. A reporter at a metro-daily recently sent me this:
"Hi Tony. I'm just reading out your blog and I notice that you're not a big fan of the Star. Neither am I after just talking with (A STAR SPORTS COLUMNIST - NAME DELETED BY TKC) on the phone. The guy was probably the most unprofessional and rude person I've ever had the displeasure to encounter. He acts as if he's working for Clark Hunt and refused to believe that Jared Allen was coming here; it's not like I made the deal myself and I understand supporting the home team but (THE KC STAR REPORTER) was acting as if I just stole something from him. Totally unprofessional. So I don't feel too bad about sharing my information with you . . ."The guy went on to tell me that he is COMPLETELY SURE that Jared Allen is coming to his town . . . I'm not revealing the city or the team because I'm a bit paranoid about the new e-mail popping up in my inbox (no homo) but it seems like the info is good. I'll be proven right later this week when Jared Allen is gone.
And it's not like I needed his help anyway after a recent hint from Clark Hunt with this headline:
"Chiefs owner Hunt puts emphasis on draft to rebuild team"
That's just a dead giveaway that the dreams of Kansas City Chiefs fans have been dashed by Kansas City's former great white hope. This town's football team has long been in the business of selling hope and promise of next season rather than spending big money of their current roster.
Too bad that the adoration of this town's white people isn't worth more than $70 million . . . I always suspected as much and I'm always surprised by stupidity of the fans of the Kansas City Chiefs.
This really is new news. It's well known that Jared will not play for Peterson whom he detests. Even after Allen cleaned up his act Peterson badmouthed him to the media. Reminds me of another fellow we lost because he couldn't stand Peterson... John Tate.
ReplyDeleteWow. That's some breaking news, Tony. Everyone has known since last week that Allen is gone. Had you maybe reported the team he is going to, you might have had some sort of angle. All you have here is a poorly constructed lie based around a phone call that never happened.
ReplyDeleteGreat Exclusive. Rumors abutted by anonymous rumors from some disgruntled chucklehead. Great work Tony.
ReplyDeleteWhat does abutted mean? It sounds homosexual.
ReplyDeleteJared Allen will probably end up in Minnesota. By the way white people will cheer for the guy who fimally slaps the white right out of your mouth you racist jackoff.
ReplyDeleteAllen is overrated. He's not that good against the run. yes he led the league in sacks last year. He was a late draft pick that developed into a solid playmaker. If we can turn around a deal him for 2 #1's then jump on it King! What does white have to do with any of it. You're a completre ass Tony. Like the posters above saud, This is old news jerkoff!
ReplyDeleteIs he going to take his crappy, redneck restaurant with him?
ReplyDeleteWow. There is a lot of poorly spelled vitriol out there for you Tony.
ReplyDeleteThe folks at The Star get mad when you write about them Tony. At this rate you'll never get a job there.
ReplyDeleteIf abutted sounds homosexual to you you probably have self sexual identification problems.
ReplyDeleteTough news to swallow for KC's Jocksniffer community (no homo).
ReplyDeleteI hope it's okay if I don't care about any of this.
ReplyDeleteJared Allen might be great in Kansas City, because teams have to block Tamba Hali too. Send him to a town with a weak defensive line, he will be chipped blocked and then 2x teamed. which probably lead him back to drinking.
ReplyDeleteAnd that would affect me how?
ReplyDeleteMy sometimes Ghey hubby will really be pissed because he loved to touch himself in an impure manner with Jared Allen's jersey and it will not be the same if it is another teams colors. It will put him right off his brownies.
ReplyDeleteSo? we lose another loser
ReplyDelete