The Star's stupid attempt to take over the local Internets is led by skanky and incompetent looking broads!!!

For the record, I hope that print media and Kansas City's paper of record will be around for many years not only because I feel it's important to have some kind of center for a conversation concerning local current events but also because the recent web efforts of the Kansas City Star are horribly lame and embarrassing.

A lot of local writers and media types are already talking about it but for those of you who don't know about the latest local hipster offering, allow me to introduce you to Ink.com. Ugh.

I'm thinking that this is the Star's stupid attempt to get into social networking, blogging and all kinds of Internet-y things that will not only serve to clandestinely lay claim to your content but also prove to be another failed effort along the lines of their dumbass subscription idea that kept Prime Buzz hidden from the 2-3 dozen people interested in regional politics.

One look at the site and it's clear they want to own users, wrangle them up and exploit a phony sense of community at the behest of a failing corporate parent . . . Kind of like Amway or the Catholic Church.

How this is better than Facebook or Myspace where lonely strangers can transmit STDS is beyond me. Anyhoo . . .

At first I was intimidated by this upcoming effort but then I took a look at the skanky looking broads behind the web operation. They're not too shabby, but these are obviously rookie copy broads, seemingly incompetent reporters and women who look as if they got the job by showing cleavage during the interview (like most white women) a simple glance at the crew shows this Internet effort couldn't possibly be serious. Here's a visual approximation:



Not that there's anything wrong with broads on the interwebs but I'm guessing that The Star would be able to garner a lot more traffic if they simply had these babes pose in bikinis. I know I'd sign up for whatever social networking scam they were running if I could watch the editorial staff engage in a pillow fight:



So far that would be a lot more interesting than the content I've seen.

But other than the fact that women working in local media are mostly incompetent with only 3 exceptions that come to mind . . . The approach they take is typical of clumsy big media. It's a cheap attempt to aggregate eyeballs and sell lame products and ads rather than bring any passion to the local web. Don't believe me? Then maybe you didn't see the valley girl accent and fake bubbly Plaza skank attitude from one of the broads in charge of the outfit as she shills on the radio . . . That's not the future of Kansas City's interwebs, that's a housewife in waiting, a hair stylist who got lucky or the best second (or third) choice at 2:08 on a Friday Night at way too expensive Crossroads bar.

But I digress . . . I forgot to mention the upcoming party!!!

The Star is launching their interwebby social networking adventure with an exclusive shindig at the P&L District on April 2nd!!! Only their guest will be invited . . . Because that's the same exclusionary tactic that powers the Internet and popular websites!!!

All things considered it makes me want to puke and while I would NEVER wish harm on another human being, I can't stop thinking about the money scene in "The Accused" for some reason when looking at the site.

I guess I have to be honest and note that I hope all things exclusionary and exclusive on the local internet don't succeed . . . It's just not good for the last free speech zone in Kansas City. Lame, local (all white) private online groups and efforts only focused on capturing eyeballs just don't seem like the right way to go. TKC didn't get to be one of the most gully local blogs by using that kind of tactic . . . I've always just written about and linked the subjects that inspire me.

In the end, the Star's lame 18-34 year old re-branding attempt might recapture the same kind of hipster d-bag who reads The Pitch but I don't see it contributing to the diverse and cutting edge discourse THAT ALREADY EXISTS IN KANSAS CITY'S BLOGOSPHERE!!!

Then again, if it's possible to hook-up with any of those broads Craigslist style . . . I'm all in and I'm sure they'll attract a crowd (read: line).

Wear a rubber dude.