"Apology not accepted, add me to the broken hearts you've collected"

Double bonus points if you remember Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam as the story of a local thief who called in order to apologize after assaulting a robbery victim reminds me that I don't really want to speak to any of my ex-girlfriends seeing as how they probably want to call the cops on me as well. Note: Being in love means never having to return nude photos or "misplaced" underwear.