Richer than God

A man who told airport security in Kansas City that the $70,000 in cash causing his pants pockets to bulge were Muslim "prayer books" could soon face charges of mortgage fraud. The guy later admitted he was Christian but still refused to let security personnel touch his prayer books.

After security supervisor Lowell Brashears recommended White put the prayer books in a tray, let the tray go through the X-ray machine and then get them on the other side, White agreed and stepped up to the X-ray machine, court documents said.

Officers said White then took off, ran out of the terminal and into traffic. He was arrested soon after with the cash in his pockets.

Federal agents claim he told them that the money came from a mortgage fraud scheme in the Kansas City area where loans were obtained using inflated property appraisals. He declined to give more details on the alleged scheme, the court records said.

In other news, this kind of f-'d up news is why I don't think I'll ever fly on a plane again. The only way the guy's story could have been more weird is if Jesus had personally escorted him though airline security with a bag of weed and potato chips. Anyway, I'm glad that somebody is making money with religious material. Sadly, I've lost out on too many easy robberies and skanky women because of the same kind of books . . . I didn't know that I was simply supposed to use the bible as a prop for a crime and not actually read the damn thing. Well, we learn what is really important every day . . . It's still money in case you were wondering.