Tony's Top Stories: Jesus does the darndest things!

Here's what I'm reading immediately after I slept in, makes me wanna go back to sleep:

Crash: Or at the least the KCPD version of that cheesy movie that doesn't involve racial understanding.

If Jesus can't fix sewers, God help us.

Also, Jesus is asking for about 6.19 million.

Jesus is also in trouble for politicking.

Smokers who are trying to quit do the darndest things!

Today's reason to panic: Drag racing. Much easier problem to fix rather than trying to figure out what happened to the manufacturing base or the drug war.

Today's reason to be slightly depressed (and maybe visit your lonely ass Grandma): Senior Suicide.

Today's reason to laugh: The term "Women Scientists" is used in this article. I did not know that blowjobs and cooking were now being called science.

Council considers recycling computers as well as ideas.

$10 million for Kansas PR that everyone ignores.

Local improv that will probably make you want to watch TV.

Blunt and Antitrust . . . Or, show me irony.

Note: Now if we could get people to start snitching BEFORE they face double murder charges that would be cool!