The Devil Made Him Do It

The Star reports that a Gladstone man was charged in Clay County with first-degree assault and armed criminal action for striking his brother in the head with a hatchet.

The assailant told authorities he attacked his brother because the devil was trying to take his soul. Apparently, the guy had to stop the devil from "using his brother" and a hit to the head with a hatchet seemed like the best way to do it.

I'm glad to report my brother is in town this week and we've never had any kind of problem like this even though he claims I'm being used by the "devil" because of my love of white women. Thankfully, he's into Middle-Eastern broads and Latinas so there has never been a conflict. God help us when one of us dates a hot ass Asian hoochie.