Holy Hell I hate Springtime in KC

Religious holidays are always a great time to give thanks even if you're not sure what in the Hell it is you believe or for what you should be thankful. Right now my sinuses are killing me so much that I'm tempted to remove them with a fork. I've gotten the same sinus cold at the beginning of Springtime for a little more than ten years. It's the result of getting kicked in the face by a group of young, local Italian rivals. In the resulting decade, during this time of year I have made it my mission in life to memorize by heart any and all meanspirited Italian jokes BUT this is Easter weekend so I'll forgo my usual hilarious racism if only for a moment. Also, in upbeat and positive Italian news, this season of the Sopranos might be the best one on record. The episode involving Tony's near death experience was one of my all time favorites. Midwesterners might have recognized and important plot point has regional significance. An "Ojibwe" saying on a corkboard in Tony Soprano's hospital room is both poignant and appropriate to mention on this Easter holiday:

"Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind carries me across the sky."

Midwesterners may not recognize the term "Ojibwe" right away until it's noted that the name of the tribe is simply a derivation of Chippewa. A Midwestern blog notes, "The Ojibwe variation was used by French fur traders and missionaries, whereas Chippewa was how the English and American ear heard the same word." Because I know a little bit about the history of the Native Americans I'll simply overlook the fact that the celebration of this nice bit of spiritual insight comes only after a large scale effort on behalf of this nation to exterminate the Native American people and strip them of the very spiritual beliefs which we now broadcast to millions . . . But like I noted previously, I'm trying to keep things upbeat this Easter.

What's more important is that I am thankful that this horrible, annual sinus cold isn't the mumps (hopefully) and that I am now assured that I have the world's most wonderful girlfriend after she nursed my whiny ass last night, fed me crackers, made me tea and tolerated my constant complaining about my leaky, disgusting head that was undergoing so much pressure from pollen and the like that I was sure it was going to explode.

Yes, this Easter I have many things for which to be thankful and I'm sure you do to . . . If not for the Big J.C. then for the free candy. And even if that "great wind" is full of all kinds of allergenic irritants . . . It's still nice to know it's there . . . Happy Easter bitches. God Bless.