Thursday, December 22, 2005

Half a BILLION Dollars!

Slap the next Chiefs fan you see from Johnson County.

If you live in Kansas City, MO proper there is no topic worth discussing today other than the latest terms of the Chiefs and Royals shake down of this city. In exchange for more than $500 million (that's a half a billion dollars) the teams want a bunch of new toys including wider concourses, more restrooms and luxury suites. Think about that, a half a billion dollars and they don't even have the courtesy to break into a Dr. Evil laugh after disclosing the amount.

What do you get for your money? Well I've heard that Larry Johnson isn't going to stop beating white women any time soon and you can probably count on help in the woman beating endeavor from Lionel Dalton. And even with Tony Pena gone I'm guessing that the Royals can find someone else to service your wife.

The story was leaked early to The Star (of course) and they're taking their usual timid tone that they adopt when any construction project is under discussion. The local TV stations did a few interviews from what looked to be JoCo sports bars and those bastards seem to be all for it.

Bi-State II was a miserable failure, it was soundly defeated in JoCo and it was that community's last chance to prove that those (white) people are anything more than VAMPIRES who suck the life from KC or maybe SPOILED little girls who are partying on somebody else's dime. Seriously, I know so many people from KC proper who have never been to a Chiefs game but you can't drive two blocks in Overland Park without seeing some moron in an SUV with a Chiefs sticker.

And the thing is, I'm pretty sure that Jackson County will pay for the entertainment of all of those white people who venture into the city for games but do little to enrich anybody other than billionaire sports franchise owners.

I wish I had more jokes but the fact of the matter is that KC IS BEING SWINDLED BY THE CHIEFS FANS OF JOHNSON COUNTY. Like most Americans, they love to fight as long as they don't get hurt, cheer as long as they don't have to do any work, they expect sacrifice from everyone but themselves and they love to "support" as long as they don't have to pick up the check.

JoCo Chiefs fans have proven themselves to be hypocritical, egocentric and parasitic. Their behavior typifies the same kind world view that has led to a costly and seemingly endless war in Iraq, that has brought about unchecked outsourcing and downsizing, that has allowed corporations control of this Democracy and provoked hate from so many people on this planet directed toward the U.S. for reasons which we all do our best to ignore.


Anonymous said...

Tony, do you have any facts that support your theory that the majority of the fans at a Chiefs game are from JOCO? I have seen plenty of butthead haircuts, mullets, half-shirts on fat girls, Chiefs pajama pants, missing teeth, etc. at these games. This can only mean that Raytown, Grandview, Independence, and KCMO are very well represented. Jackson County voters do get first shot at the extra tickets - I have seen them role their homes up to the gate to wait in line. Go Chiefs.

Anonymous said...

By the way...

The story might have been leaked to the Star, but KMBZ had it on-air at 1pm yesterday (12/21).

The Star is a rag, and should be used like one.

emawkc said...

Don't forget that Jackson County voters get to vote on the stadium and Jackson County residents sit on the Sports Commission that approved the leases etc. If you're looking for someone to blame, you might want to look in the mirror.

(BTW- Thanks for the free sports, downtown lofts, museums and cultural events).

Jazo said...

wow this is the best post you have written yet.

and for the anomynous JO douchebag who thinks mullet = raytown i got something for ya: Wyandotte County

Mark said...

Good to see anonymous posters ripping on folks -- guess they don't have the testicular fortitude to let everyone know who they are.

In other words, they're probably from JoCo. (And a note to them -- it's called a turn signal. Try using some time, asshole.)

The thing that upsets me about this deal is how little money Hunt and Glass are paying themselves. Both are BILLIONAIRES with plenty of jack to help offset the cost.

It truly is pathetic that they'll gladly make money off the teams (Glass has made money each year he's owned them, despite what he tries to say) but put so little back into them.

That being said, I just may vote for the thing because I'm sick and damned tired of waiting an hour for a freaking beer at the Chiefs games.

And I live in Indpenendence, have been mullet free since 1985, have impeccable dental hygeine.

the stranger said...

I'm not sure why taxpayers are expected to pick up so much of the bill, but it seems like $500m is not a bad investment when you consider how much money will be spent in this city during the Super Bowl.

Mark said...

the stranger--
That's assuming they get the Super Bowl. While it'd be great to see, every city in the area best start building hotels. Otherwise, there'd be people spread out from St. Joe to Joplin.

K said...

All that money to patch up what's already "ancient" as far as the rest of the NFL is concerned?

KC seems to do stuff halfway and then has to spend twice as much on down the road to fix it. Scrap this plan and go bigger, tack on the JoCo soccer stadium and retry Bi-State with something that's worth spending the money on. This new plan quite simply sucks.

the stranger said...

true mark, but if you have the nfl clout that lamar hunt has got, then it will happen, if he wants it to. there's no other reason that the nfl would offer kansas city a super bowl in the first place.

i'm eager to hear what others have to say, because, being a pessimist, i love to be wrong, but until then, i'm going to assume that a super bowl would be an economic windfall for this city and would offset the ass-raping we'll take on the renovations package.

i'm also going to assume that kc will get more of the big 12 championship action and perhaps even a bowl game, with a climate controlled stadium. hell, maybe even a couple concerts and an extra tractor-pull. the city will continue to be as boring as still toilet water, but, we'll be better at it, and wealthier. maybe.

or maybe we'll all be a little broker, the murder rate will increase by a few more, and the chiefs and/or royals will finally leave town because we can't afford (or aren't alive) to go to the games anymore.

SmedRock said...

Emaw has it right. Tony is an asshat on this one. How does this == Iraq? Never mind the fact that not EVERYONE in JOCO is rich or white. Glass and Hunt can foot the bill. Glass has effectively run the Royals into the ground, and Hunt is not far behind.

If all you can say is how you hate JOCO, try to imagine this town without all that rich white money. Welcome to Detroit.

Having grew up in Jackson County (Graduated RSHS 87), I can safely say I do not mess that side of the line too much. So despite how 'cool' Tony plays it up to be, the fact remains the same. I hate to say this but Jackson county fucked themselves into this position. grow some balls and represent yourselves at the meetings that create this crap and vote.

Bistate II failed because it was essentially welfare for KCMO. And the last time I checked, I still pay for the parking and tickets to get into these events. That tax money does not go to JOCO. Investment will come when the SE side of KC get's it act together and cleans itself up a bit. I for one do not mind paying a bit of tax if I can actually see it being used.

Maybe if the post did not try to blame all the ills of the world on JOCO not wanting to get suckered by a corrupt city council on the MO side, you would see more money such as the Bistate proposals pass.

Ok I am done crying now.