Greg Reeves asks the important questions

In a post that is sure to make you scared of the Internets, Greg Reeves asks: "Is your teen selling online sex?"

While I ask:

She's 18 right?

Good. Does she take a check?

Can I make payments?

Is it all right if I get a little rough?

Okay, no rough stuff but does she speak German?

No, I'm not a freak. Doesn't everybody like to be yelled at in German while getting it on?

Fine. I'm a freak. Now can I roll up The Star and spank her with it?

You don't take the Star, but how do you read Steve Penn's columns?

Heh, neither do I. That's funny. Now where is she?

I won't be long but can I take more than 5 minutes?

Okay, cool it probably won't take that long anyway.