Think while you drink

I wonder what happens to grown men when the become high school officials. Clearly, the job is soul crushing and it makes you pull bullshit like this out of your ass:

Fed up with some students showing up at dances drunk or halfway there, Lawrence school administrators say they soon will require students to pass a Breathalyzer before getting in.

There are more than 28 million children of alcoholics in the US, and nearly 11 million are under the age of 18. This means that there are a lot of drunks around who are being hypocrites “for the sake of the children.” Mom or dad is an alcoholic and the kids will be too, why all the fuss? Kids are gonna drink, a lot. I understand not wanting them to get behind the wheel but making liquor verboten for young adults is childish. And what’s a few months difference going to make anyway? So you prevent the prom queen from taking a drink, she’ll soon end up drunk and face down in the toilet in some random Puerto Rican guy’s dorm room by the end of her first year at college.

Better to teach responsibility. Better to tell kids that if they’re gonna drink be sure to stay away from sleazy guys with rental vans and ominous pick up lines (like me), save the urban exploring trip for when you’re sober and (for the love of God) never believe that the fat chick you’re humping hasn’t done this kind of thing every weekend night of the year. It seems like this hard line stance against teenage drinking is akin to the “abstinence myth” propagated by the conservatives. Better to wear the condom if you’re gonna do it, because you’re probably gonna do it. It’s smarter to learn not to drive drunk, not to drink till you hurl and not to make other dumb drunken decisions than trying and inexorably failing to abstain.