Never mind that the Chiefs are a bunch of overpaid thugs who are better at hitting women than opposing quarterbacks. Forget that people in this town are just barely convinced that they should contribute to making Lamar Hunt even wealthier by approving a tax increase. What’s important is boobies and controlled violence. That’s why I love the Chiefs cheerleaders and hope to purchase one when my ship comes in.
A Chiefs cheerleader is a special kind of skank. They are paid a meager salary, they probably will not go on to achieve great fame and training for the job takes up a lot of time. However, the gig allows them just a tiny, precious moment in a dim spotlight. For a little while on Sunday they are prettiest broads around even if it only means small scale celebrity in a cowtown working for a consistently mediocre franchise. Still, the Chief’s cheerleaders have a lot of heart to put a smile on for the multitude of fans that have neither a cursory understanding of the game nor an original thought about how to spend their leisure time.
If a recent photo series of the Chiefs cheerleaders is any indication of beauty standards in Kansas City, apparently hair spray is all the rage around these parts. Personally, I’m not a big fan of hair products because they make a woman’s mane too fragile for a good pull. But the women of the Chiefs liberally apply all kinds of beauty products in order to affirm their self worth. Likewise, it’s somehow fitting that the Chiefs employ an array of gussied up whores to sell their product. Most scam artists utilize some version of “the honey pot” in order to bilk a mark out of hard earned cash.
As a Kansas City Chiefs Cheerleader, I find your article from September 14, 2005 utterly appalling as I just came across it on the internet. I must fire back at you, and you must know that I never have any intentions of returning to this site to engage in reading your response and letting you get to me. I hope I never come across you in public either, and for your sake, you better hope the same. You've pissed the wrong people off.
ReplyDeleteWe DO NOT do this job because "the gig allows [us] just a tiny, precious moment in a dim spotlight." This is mostly volunteer work and we do this because we have been dancers or cheerleaders since we were 5-year-old little girls and we simply just still love to do this. Cheesy or not, I don't care. We are aware of the idiotic stereotypes like yours, and we fight those everyday. Our husbands do the same. You better get the story straight before you go around making false accusations of us being "gussied up whores," you close-minded bastard. We are a squad of VERY established lawyers, architects, engineers, teachers, mothers, and students. We are intelligent women who are considered the classiest cheerleaders in the NFL as we don't pose in Maxim or Playboy and don't join in the craze of selling lingerie calendars...although maybe you'd secretly like that with all of your pent up aggression regarding whores. It sounds like you've been burned once or twice by some pretty girls in your lifetime. Ouch. Sucks to be you.
We do more than just cheer with a lot of make-up on and stiff hair. We are under contract April to April doing A TON of charity work, teaching youth in our community to believe in themselves, and most importantly at this time in our Nation, we are supporting our troops who are fighting for our lives. WE think of them. WE travel to visit them. WE make friends with them. And WE don't forget them like the rest of our Nation seems to have. We ARE the definition of class when it comes to NFL cheerleaders and the majority of our community sees and appreciates that. YOU, on the other hand, are a self-loathing SOB, who slams others to make yourself feel big and bad. Ooh. You're intimidating. See me shaking in my knee-high white boots??? You're just a bitter, cynical, desperate-to-have-a-pretty-girl-on-arm jack ass.