The X Factor

Later this Fall, when the Chiefs have just finished their disappointing season with a number of heartbreaking losses, some people will wonder why this franchise has almost always been mediocre. This week’s “Night Ranger” column provides the answer. You see, people who care, love, respect what they do don’t take breaks on Monday night. For instance, even the Night Ranger herself stops shaking her booty and drowning her sorrows in cheap vodka long enough to catch one of the most over-rated football players in the NFL drinking it up in a KC bar on a weekday evening. Pitch Columnist Jen Chen recently ran into Dante Hall doing what he does best, stalking groupies. At first, the notorious publicity hound was a little shy but he soon warmed up as if someone spiked his liquor with Gatorade.

Afterward, we went in search of another D -- Mr. Hall, whom we heard was on the premises.

He was standing by the back bar, surrounded by women and drinking Grand Marnier on the rocks. We kept an eye on him, and when the women dispersed a bit, we made our way up to him. Sadly, he was not dressed as a wood sprite; instead, he was wearing a black hat and sunglasses. A pearl necklace (fake beads were strewn on the tables) hung around his neck. (Insert your own pearl necklace joke here.)

Here’s a nasty pearl necklace joke for you: Chiefs fans probably wish Hall was as consistent in delivering yardage as he is reliable in distributing pearl necklaces to this town’s blonde groupies.

Football players (or anybody else) who cares about what they do won’t be found hanging out in a bar on Monday night.

But poor Dante, doesn’t he deserve a break? No, when you get millions of dollars for shitty yardage during the competitive part of the season and then start successfully returning punts and kickoffs after the team is already out of it . . . No, you shouldn’t expect much consideration.

Sure, this small TV market, inept (tax hungry) management and general malaise are also contributing factors to the Chiefs mediocrity. But there is nothing worse than seeing a player on a losing team party like a champ. Win some games, learn to read defenses better and then get a drink Dante. Until then, you may have earned those millions in salary and endorsements but you don’t deserve a celebration.