Feeling hot, hot, hot

I've never been sure if tanning rots your brain or if stupid women are the only people who tan. I don't understand the benefit of getting into a radioactive tube in order to half cook yourself. And why would white people want brown skin? They spend most of their time making sure nobody born with that complexion lives in a 10 mile radius.

Anyway, the recent story of a pale Johnson County woman suspected of a tanning salon robbery spree is nearly enough to debunk any myths regarding racial superiority.

The suspect was calm and grabbed the money from the drawer. Then she took off in a BMW and headed to the Tan World in Olathe, where police said she took out a knife and tried the same thing . . . In that robbery, she used a knife and apologized for robbing the place, even leaving ten dollars behind as a goodwill gesture.

To me, that's the most interesting part of the story. She robs a tanning salon in a luxury car but leaves a nice tip. I wouldn't even know how to calculate the gratuity on a small robbery at knifepoint.

In the end, I guess you'd have to feel sorry for the desperate JoCo lady. If she needed money that bad, she would have done well to try prostitution. I have a feeling she'd be quite a handful in the bedroom.