In the aftermath of #MeToo scandal that has decimated the already horrific KU football program, it seems that only the mysterious science of sports analytics can save the program from years of fruitless struggle.

A suggestion from a KICK-ASS reader and something to consider on this rainy afternoon . . .

First the backstory: Meet Kevin Kelley – The Coach Who Never Punts

"Kelley has become a cult figure among both football coaches and the sports analytics community for his disregard for traditional football wisdom. Although he may seem like a mad scientist, he bases everything he does on statistics. 

"The decision not to punt? According to his statistics, when a team punts from near its end zone, the opponent will take possession inside the 40-yard line and will then score a touchdown 77 percent of the time. If it recovers on downs inside the 10, it will score a touchdown 92 percent of the time."

Accordingly, here's the argument to put him in charge of KU football . . .

"At first glance, Kevin Kelley’s methods seem daft. His Pulaski Academy team doesn’t punt. It onside kicks after every score. It routinely runs trick plays. And all the Bruins do is pound the stuffing out of teams that usually have far more physically gifted players. Kelley won three state titles in his first 11 years because he’s a pretty good play-caller and motivator. But after he decided prior to the 2014 season to build his team completely around analytics, the Bruins have won six state titles in seven years."

Of course KU has nothing to lose . . .

"Kansas stinks at football. The Jayhawks aren’t just bad. They’re historically, spectacularly bad. Since Mark Mangino’s last win as Kansas coach against Iowa State in 2009, the Jayhawks are 7-98 in Big 12 play."

Money line . . .

"Kelley’s salary pitch had a purpose. He could have suggested $100,000 a win, but $90,000 sounds a lot cheaper and could resonate with someone at Kansas who might surmise that throwing seven-figure salaries at the problem isn’t working. So why not take far less financial risk on a coach who — at the very worst — will deliver the same miserable results his much more expensive predecessor did and — at best — will actually make Kansas competitive? Of course, the Jayhawks would have to pay more if Kelley actually did that. But then it would be worth every penny."

Moreover, the public should have a say in this decision given that college coaches and sports directors rank among some of the most HIGHLY COMPENSATED WORKERS PAID BY THE STATE

Developing . . .


  1. only agree that the new coach is going to suck anyway and is unlikely to turn the program around.

  2. KU Football ? Who knew ?

  3. Myballzitch3/25/21, 2:49 PM

    First, the KU football program has to learn what a touchdown is.

  4. Winning football games is not what's important at KU.
    The highest priority is that the "team" emphasize diversity, inclusion, and equity.
    In fact, maybe that's why they are already having one terrible season after another.
    Lots of SJW points, though.

  5. ^^OK Boomer. Did they tall you that on Fox & Friends? The fuck outta here with that shit.

  6. Byron Funkhouser3/25/21, 5:31 PM

    It must be sad Chimpy, to wake up daily, knowing all you have to offer are inane comments on other folk's posts. You contribute nothing, and your childish satire is lacking any hint of being clever. Obviously unemployed, your future is pretty dim. You must be envious of those you ridicule, knowing they have so much more in their lives that's positive than you'll ever achieve. Well, it's probably time for you to start with the “weirds” and your pathetic pussy ^^marks.

  7. I did not make the comment at 5:31.

    What a hypocrite.

  8. I agree with you Byron, Byron @ 5:31, you finally woke, you are not as blind as we once thought.

  9. Hobo With Strong Halitosis3/25/21, 7:27 PM

    I miss the Mangino days and the "Our Coach Is Fat" t-shirts.

  10. It doesn't matter who the coach is at KU . . . the team will still lose.

  11. Rock Chalk Suck Cock, Gay U.

  12. Better idea, KU should drop football and join the Summit Conference.

  13. Maybe they could coax Snyder out of retirement.


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