Tuesday, May 14, 2019

IS THE PITCH CURSED AFTER PUBLISHING WITCHCRAFT COVER STORY?!?!?

The Kansas City alt-mag has quickly faded from relevance and is now nothing more than a blog and a really sketchy scheme to use sponsored content and social media to back up an otherwise boring event planning biz. However, here's the question for TKC inquiring minds as this blog not only serves to inform the public but also to save the soul of Kansas City.

AS READERSHIP FADES, THE PITCH DABBLES WITH THE OCCULT!!! THAT SH*T IS THE DEVIL!!! 

And so we ask . . .

WILL THE 'BLACK MAGIC' COVERAGE DOOM THE PITCH TO AN EVEN MORE GHASTLY DEAD-TREE MEDIA DEMISE?!?!

We report on the tragic descent into darkness with a heavy heart because the publication was formerly one of our favorites and now irresponsible leadership has plunged the local alternative institution into the abyss. Here's the reference but we DO NOT encourage anyone to read more:

What's behind the surprising resurgence of KC's metaphysical community?

Emma Olson Sometime in the last year or so, my friends all started turning into moon witches. These were women in their late twenties and early thirties. Women with graduate degrees who vaccinated their children, who read more than just the headline, who could spell "teleological" and use it in a sentence.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

The Pitch still publishes?

I thought they died out two years ago.

Anonymous said...

^^^^ You thought right, this is just the leftover scraps.

Super Dave said...

The only thing killing the Pitch is the owners

Anonymous said...

Maybe we can get some sorcery going at shitty hall.

Anonymous said...


Cit Hall is run by satan!

Anonymous said...

Amateurs. Nowhere in that tripe is Wicca discussed. These ladies are just wannabes.

Anonymous said...

The perverts classifieds were hilarious back in the day. All those lonely gay men looking for glory hole hookups or discreet encounters for a pump and dump.

Anonymous said...

I am 21, are your refering to the Royals? Thats the only pitch I know.

Anonymous said...

The Pitch is cursed by a lack of relevance.

Joby said...

11:09 wins this thread. Nice one!