Thursday, January 10, 2019

DEAR TKC: 'AM I GAY BECAUSE I REALLY WANT PATRICK MAHOMES ON MY BACK?!?!'

Seriously, a quick note sent our way from one of our more impressionable readers . . .

"TKC, I've seen a lot of comments on your blog which suggest that wearing the jersey of my favorite football player somehow makes me less than a man and could mean that I have homosexual tendencies. At first I blew off these petty criticisms but in recent days, I just can't unsee it. I've been obsessed with wearing my Kansas City Chiefs Patrick Mahomes jersey EVERYWHERE so much that my friends are starting to comment on it. Last night I was thinking about it and I realized that while I don't identify as a member of the LGBT community -- If there was ever a chance to hook up with Patrick Mahomes, I totally would. These feelings are kind of new to me and I DO NOT have them for anyone else except our new QB. What do you think? Has this season changed my sexual orientation?"

My response . . .

DOOD. TKC is not an advice column. I wish you well with your figuring out your identity. Many believe that sexuality is a social construct and we all fall somewhere on a spectrum . . . Whatever the case, no matter what, I'm certain YOU ARE NOT ALONE in exploring devotion to the new Chiefs quarterback that has been inspired by quite a bit of exuberance over his performance this season.

Example:

Red-hot Patrick Mahomes Chiefs jerseys hard to keep in stock

Many people are gearing up for Saturday's game, and some may be shopping for Chiefs gear. As you can imagine, the hot ticket item is a Patrick Mahomes jersey.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh wow. Well, yes there is something about wearing another mans name on your back. I personally have never been a fan of jerseys. It’s a money making fashion trend.

If I was a male baseball player and I was out on a Friday night and saw another adult male wearing my jersey with my name and number on it....that would feel a little weird.


Anonymous said...

He should be a real man and wear a cheerleader's uniform.

Don't do anything half way!

Anonymous said...

TOP PHOTO -- MA HOMOS

Dear Jersey,
Sounds like you fall into the spectrum under the letter "Q" for "Questioning." While there's certainly nothing unusual in appreciating outstanding athletic performance, when an adult male becomes obsessive about another male player it raises the question of homo-eroticism. More importantly, we worry about you wasting away your time and money by following a wealthy privileged person instead of improving your own life. Redirect your efforts away from watching sports and into making a better life for you and your family. Put down the pigskin!!!

Anonymous said...


Everytime I see this shirt in the grocery store I have the urge to buy a milky way!

Anonymous said...

Anybody who wonders if they have homosexual tendencies is a homosexual, whether you have sucked dick or not. Try conversion therapy soon before you suck a dick. You don’t want to end up like the faggots in Midtown or the Plaza.

Anonymous said...

^^^^ @10:06 speaks from experience.

But conversation therapy doesn't work because @10:06 just thinks about dick all day.

Don't deny yourself! You seem like you'd make some lucky guy a great wife!

Anonymous said...

I think Questioning should have carte blanche to pursue the young stud that is Mahomes. I felt the same way about Tony when he lost all that weight that time.

Just For the Record said...

What's gay is spending your money to wear their advertising on your back giveing whoever's name your wearing more exposure. Would you spend $35 or more to wear say a Price Chopper or HY Vee shirt everytime you go shopping their? The owners should be handing you the shirts for free to promote the team they own. Only in America will people pay their own money to promote another's money making business. Folks who a lot of time don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out pay good money for a shirt to make a person who lives in a mansion with a bathroom larger than most folks bedrooms even more richer than they already are. Yup that's common sense working in your favor for you.

Anonymous said...

^^Blah blah blah. Don't you have anything better to do than complain about how other people spend their money? That's what's pathetic old-timer. Get a hobby. Get a fucking life. You couldn't be a more pathetic loser!

Anonymous said...

10:41 is correct and 10:46 sounds like he is struggling with the same issue this article is about.

Anonymous said...

^^^^^No 10:41 is old, crabby, miserable and lonely. 10:46 just knocked him the fuck out!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

10:46 can't wipe his own ass let alone knock anyone out.

Anonymous said...

I wonder how long Geezer Guy has bee struggling with his own identity and sexuality.

Anonymous said...

^^Probably as long as he's been fucking your wife I would say.

Anonymous said...

Short answer to the guy that wears the shirt:
You are a fag.

Anonymous said...

Yes. An adult man that wears a jersey is a queer, whether on not he knows it yet. Wearing a jersey is an act of faggotry. You might as well wear a sign on your forehead saying you want to suck cock.

Anonymous said...

Yes! Definitely gay. And if he is a sports nut, definitely an idiot. Don't knock me, I'm young, gay, and prefer bareback. I've sucked more Chiefs-wearing cock than anything else, with cops-in-uniform coming in a close second (cops have gaydar).

Anonymous said...

Way to go 1:16! I’m jealous of your cop hook ups. These homophobes on here would flip if they knew how many “straight” guys mess around on the side, huh?

Gumbo said...

10:41 nailed it.

He nailed it real good.

YES!