Monday, December 24, 2018

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS QB 'KING OF KETCHUP' PATRICK MAHOMES CHOKES!!! COWTOWN CHRISTMAS CURSE CONTINUES AMID SEASON OF HYPE IMPLOSION!!!



And now we are once again in our season of discontent as playoff time competition ramps up and every Kansas City sports newsie and overenthusiastic local anchor person is revealed to be a liar.

To wit . . .

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS QB PATRICK MAHOMES ISN'T GOING TO TO LEAD THIS COWTOWN TO SUPER BOWL THIS SEASON!!! INSTEAD, FANBOY LOVE WAS CASHED IN FOR KETCHUP MONEY!!!

We asked our blog community for commentary on the topic of the latest disappointing Chiefs loss and here's what they had to say so far:

"Pat "the ketchup" Mahomes is still damn good. Team hasn't been the same since Hunt was let go. Defense needs help, but they can pull some decent plays from time to time. The game was definitely hard to watch. I cringed at the last field goal they made in the 4th. They should have gone for the TD."

On the topic of sloppy play . . .

"PENALTIES! Gawd, if they could run a defensive set of four plays without a penalty they could win. Tired of annual disappointment from this over-hyped franchise."

A local tradition

"The traditional playoff season implosion from The Chiefs makes us feel right at home for Christmas in Kansas City. It wouldn't be December if all of the team's promise earlier in the year didn't magically evaporate just when the NFL competition grows more intense."

And all of this brings us back to a blustery time in local history and the Christmas Day game at the old Municipal Stadium at 22nd and Brooklyn back in 1971 Kansas City. A missed field goal and the longest football game that will ever be played doomed this town to football mediocrity for all time.

This year the Sports Illustrated cover story also cursed Patrick Mahomes and possibly set back his progress half a decade.

More to the point, once again Kansas City kills every local hero with kindness as hype and so much happy talk unfairly silences valid criticism and prevents real improvement and progress.

A few examples . . .

Overbearing Kansas City love didn't help Zach Grienke's social anxiety disorder and played a role thwarting his progress as a pitcher by granting him savior status before he really proved himself.

George Brett is still reliving his glory days and refuses to move on with his life 40 years after his best playing days have passed  because this town's death grip obsession with any local who isn't living a mediocre middle-class life burned by media imposed fantasies and credit card debt.

Kansas City ruined the career of Tony Gonzalez who should have had the courage to leave the embrace of fanboy love but found the warm glow of local adoration far too tempting.

Even more bad analogies . . .

Kansas City fanboys are akin to an abusive spouse whose lovable demeanor makes the cycle of violence easy to forget.

Kansas City sports is an endless cycle of repeated disappointment like a loved one who keeps relapsing back into substance abuse.

The Kansas City Chiefs trick this town every time with early season wins like Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown and the blockhead never learning his lesson.

Moreover, the Kansas City Chiefs are a business and the product they sell is the emotional investment of their fans. This cruel commerce is reinforced by politicos, police, friends, businesses and employers in order to occupy and essentially control the minds of the uninitiated.

But here at TKC we are initiated. And we understand that the volk, the groupthink enforced upon Kansas City so that the vast majority of locals mindlessly support ritual hype and endure inevitable disappointment is indicative of a bigger deception that doesn't just rule the weekends but dictates our lives and the fate of the world.

You decide . . .

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

that's heedy stuff there Jethro. Powerful ciphering.

Anonymous said...

yeah, maybe a bit much for a football game but I get it. I think everybody does realize that the early seasons wins aren't a good indication of how the playoffs are going to go.

I hope not my beetches said...

One and done?

Anonymous said...

the kylie jenner link is a bit much. Yes, we're not going to be billionaires but that doesn't make life without meaning. Don't get greedy.

The Chiefs still have a chance, Patrick Mahomes is a great quarterback and he's just getting better.

Jabroni said...

If Mahomes is smart he'll quit this town a in a couple of years and find a team that will pay for both and offense and a defense.

Anonymous said...

Firing Bob Sutton is the only thing that will save us.

Do it now. Before the playoffs. Send the message.

Chiefs front office said...

Merry Christmas

Anonymous said...

Hey Chiefs Fans, you know, there are Super and Super Absorbency options. Try a larger-sized tampon for your big pussies, might make you less crabby.

Anonymous said...

^^^^That my friend, is comedy.

Anonymous said...

TKC obviously knows jack shit about football. Mahomes "chokes"? Lol, dumbshits.

Anonymous said...

7:42 that’s what I’ve been telling the guys at work for a month now, he’ll finish his contract and leave, I would if I was him, Clarkie boy will not spend the money it takes to win a super bowl

Anonymous said...

The teams chemistry-magic was totally fucked up when they decided to let Kareem Hunt go.





Anonymous said...


Great observations, T, and why yours is the most read blog in KC!!

Anonymous said...

TOP PHOTO -- MAHOMES KVETCH UP

"And we understand that the volk, the groupthink enforced upon Kansas City so that the vast majority of locals mindlessly support ritual hype and endure inevitable disappointment is indicative of a bigger deception that doesn't just rule the weekends but dictates our lives and the fate of the world."

------profound words from a blogger writing in the first century of the 3rd millennium

Anonymous said...

Profound? More like a cliche-ridden pile of shit.

Anonymous said...

Hey, @9:19 - leave Trump out of this, stay on topic!

Anonymous said...

Give me a break. Offence scores 31 against Seattle, who have one of best running games in the league, and it's the kid's fault? Get your head out of your asses people.

#FireSuttonFast
#LearnToTackle

Anonymous said...

Bob Sutton, the Chiefs Defensive Coordinator is a senile doddering old fool. Every single defensive player they have is a cunthole that doesn’t like to tackle. They all need to go back to whatever shithole ghetto they are from.

Anonymous said...

Pass the donuts with the fake pink icing and candy sprinkles please.

Anonymous said...

while you were at work today dear ....

Derrick Thomas said...

The Chiefs losing is THE best Christmas present ever. So many people butthurt. It's hilarious. You people who are so disappointed in this, read a book, rake leaves, clean your gutters...Figure out the 10,000 other things you can do than support these overpaid genetic lottery winners.

Anonymous said...

Maybe city hall should give every newcomer to KC a Chiefs jersey, a toy train t-shirt, and I Heart KC hoodie.

Here's your uniform. Welcome to KC!

Anonymous said...

But the Cowboys won the division yesterday. On the way to the superbowl.

Anonymous said...

The kid can’t carry the whole team by himself and Andy Reid’s defense is bend don’t break, well Andy I hate to tell you it’s broke and you apparently aren’t smart enough to realize it

Anonymous said...

As the saying goes " Offense wins games, defense wins the Superbowl".

Anonymous said...

Football "sayings" are for dildos. There is so much randomness and stupidity in this idiotic game that dumbassses trying to "study" the game and develop theories and strategy are just hiding from their own inadequacies and lack of mental skills.

Gibi said...

Now this is good shiz and why I come here. TKC manages to piss off everybody. Nicely done.

Anonymous said...

Finally have had it TKC, AMF

Anonymous said...

while you were at work, dear ...