Monday, December 24, 2018
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS QB 'KING OF KETCHUP' PATRICK MAHOMES CHOKES!!! COWTOWN CHRISTMAS CURSE CONTINUES AMID SEASON OF HYPE IMPLOSION!!!
And now we are once again in our season of discontent as playoff time competition ramps up and every Kansas City sports newsie and overenthusiastic local anchor person is revealed to be a liar.
To wit . . .
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS QB PATRICK MAHOMES ISN'T GOING TO TO LEAD THIS COWTOWN TO SUPER BOWL THIS SEASON!!! INSTEAD, FANBOY LOVE WAS CASHED IN FOR KETCHUP MONEY!!!
We asked our blog community for commentary on the topic of the latest disappointing Chiefs loss and here's what they had to say so far:
"Pat "the ketchup" Mahomes is still damn good. Team hasn't been the same since Hunt was let go. Defense needs help, but they can pull some decent plays from time to time. The game was definitely hard to watch. I cringed at the last field goal they made in the 4th. They should have gone for the TD."
On the topic of sloppy play . . .
"PENALTIES! Gawd, if they could run a defensive set of four plays without a penalty they could win. Tired of annual disappointment from this over-hyped franchise."
A local tradition
"The traditional playoff season implosion from The Chiefs makes us feel right at home for Christmas in Kansas City. It wouldn't be December if all of the team's promise earlier in the year didn't magically evaporate just when the NFL competition grows more intense."
And all of this brings us back to a blustery time in local history and the Christmas Day game at the old Municipal Stadium at 22nd and Brooklyn back in 1971 Kansas City. A missed field goal and the longest football game that will ever be played doomed this town to football mediocrity for all time.
This year the Sports Illustrated cover story also cursed Patrick Mahomes and possibly set back his progress half a decade.
More to the point, once again Kansas City kills every local hero with kindness as hype and so much happy talk unfairly silences valid criticism and prevents real improvement and progress.
A few examples . . .
Overbearing Kansas City love didn't help Zach Grienke's social anxiety disorder and played a role thwarting his progress as a pitcher by granting him savior status before he really proved himself.
George Brett is still reliving his glory days and refuses to move on with his life 40 years after his best playing days have passed because this town's death grip obsession with any local who isn't living a mediocre middle-class life burned by media imposed fantasies and credit card debt.
Kansas City ruined the career of Tony Gonzalez who should have had the courage to leave the embrace of fanboy love but found the warm glow of local adoration far too tempting.
Even more bad analogies . . .
Kansas City fanboys are akin to an abusive spouse whose lovable demeanor makes the cycle of violence easy to forget.
Kansas City sports is an endless cycle of repeated disappointment like a loved one who keeps relapsing back into substance abuse.
The Kansas City Chiefs trick this town every time with early season wins like Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown and the blockhead never learning his lesson.
Moreover, the Kansas City Chiefs are a business and the product they sell is the emotional investment of their fans. This cruel commerce is reinforced by politicos, police, friends, businesses and employers in order to occupy and essentially control the minds of the uninitiated.
But here at TKC we are initiated. And we understand that the volk, the groupthink enforced upon Kansas City so that the vast majority of locals mindlessly support ritual hype and endure inevitable disappointment is indicative of a bigger deception that doesn't just rule the weekends but dictates our lives and the fate of the world.
You decide . . .