Sunday, December 31, 2017
Kansas City Amateur Night 2017 Highlights
Just a quick guide for Kansas City tonight and one last post for the evening . . .
1. Hobos asking for money in this cold are exceptionally persuasive. They will spend the cash on booze and/or drugs. Can't say that they deserve blame for it.
2. Not so long ago . . . Local companies would provide free rides home for drunk party-goers. Tonight ride-share surge pricing will charge locals three to four times the average fare. Sadly, the alternative is a front row seat in diversion DUI classes taught by an instructor who has made equally poor life choices and providing the gateway to the prison industrial complex and one of the best slave labor markets in the (fake) free world.
3. On the bright side, there will be several Kansas City party people hooking up to start the new year as the U.S. confronts record high STD rates and chronic social diseases become even more dangerous in an era without Obamacare. President Trump once said that his dating life dodging various nasty "infections of the junk" was his own personal Vietnam worthy of the Congressional Medal of Honor. To be fair, he's got a point and nobody has ever questioned his good fortune or appreciation for hotties.
Other than that . . . Tonight KC can look forward to . . .
- Stingy buffets
- Watered down drinks
- Crowded parties filled with 30K millionaires
- 34 year-old women who are also on a far more unforgiving clock
- No less than 3 potential shooting opportunities OR the even more possibilities of unattended drunks freezing to death.
Good luck out there . . . Despite the fact that our market research has shown us that most TKC Readers drink alone.