I dedicated this weekend to doing "research" for the blog i.e. watching cartoons and pillaging the Humor section at Borders books while not actually paying for anything.
Anyhoo . . . I stumbled upon a great passage in the "Stuff that white people like" book that applies to Kansas City:
"... White people all support the idea of public transportation and will be happy to tell you about how the subways and streetcars/trams have helped to energize cities like Chicago and Portland. They will tell you all about the energy and cost savings of having people abandon their cars for public transportation and how they hope that one day they can live in a city where they will be car-free.This pretty much summarizes the attitude of white hipsters in this town who are thinking about voting for light rail while voting for Obama and risking serious damage to their arm by patting themselves on the back constantly.
At this point, you are probably thinking about the massive number of buses that serve your city and how you have never seen a white person riding them. To a white person a bus is essentially a giant minivan that continually stops to pick up progressively smellier people. You should never, ever point this out to a white person. It will make them recognize that they might not love public transportation as much as they though, and then they will feel sad."
The passage from the book actually kind of bummed me out until I realized that the small niche group of ultra-liberal, Ipod listening, tight jeans wearing people who had absolutely no idea of this town's history regarding big ticket construction projects don't even number enough to pack the Crossroads on weekends anymore. Also, I'm hoping that even those folks can see that light rail in Kansas City isn't about public transportation but has more to do with a political ponzi scheme.
White people also love YouTube!
ReplyDeleteAnd Pop-Up Videos!
For all three, go here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/kcrailquestions
[/shameless plug]
Someone needs to do a parody of hipsters that support light rail.
ReplyDeleteA take off of maynard G crabbs would be awesome.
I was reading a book this weekend on "Stuff that illegal mexicans like". Turns out they too support light rail as well as our black neighbors. Since both these groups need additional real estate to master their art of tagging, light rail trains appear to be the answer. I think we should increase the tobacco tax and alcohol tax in order to pay for light rail. I also believe that we should eliminate the loss limit on the casinos. The light rail should run from the illegal mexican community to the casinos then over to the eastside. This would help support the next item on the list of what illegal mexican's and blacks like to do.... gamble, buy drugs, and drink beer. Okay, so maybe light rail should have a stop at Jackson's Liquour Store and Paco's taco's stand for munchies.
ReplyDeleteTony your loyal readers freak me out.
ReplyDeleteLet's not forget to add Overland Park to the list of stops for lightrail.....you know the white girls would be lost if they couldn't get down to Troost to satisfy their chocolate cravings.
ReplyDeleteLOL... Anon 2:37... good one. By white girls you mean the ones found in the cattle fields of Olathe. Those are the ones with the chocolate cravings... and the brotha's like big ones... the bigger the better.... you can have'em
ReplyDeleteLMAO to both 2:37 and 5:07 and by brothas I hope you don't mean all? Had one try to talk to me just the other day out in Olathe. The Chick had the nerve to be wearing some braids. Saw a brotha in a suit and thought......meal ticket. Boy I tell you I haven't been here long but this is one F*ed up town.
ReplyDeleteanon @ 5:14: you haven't been here long and you've already figured out this is one fucked-up town?
ReplyDeletedamn, dude, you're smarter than the average bear.
smart men don't belong in this town. please leave now before the others discover you have more than one brain cell.
Whites will only ride it if it bypasses niggerville. Ooppsss kansas City IS niggerville.
ReplyDeleteYeah well tell your women that theory.... because from what I see they can't get enough. By your statement I assume you will never go to the Plaza, Ward Parkway, or downtown right!?..........yeah right.
ReplyDeleteThey don't call it the Meth Express in Portland for nothing.
ReplyDeleteLook for the miscreants and cockroaches that formerly haven't had access to your neighborhood to be dropped off right on your porch.
Huzzah!!
RIIIIIGHHHHTTT Because white people don't use meth!?!? WTF next time you write something make sure it makes sense. Also what the hell do you mean haven't had access? What you have to have a special security code to drive down your street!? Bet your dumb ass lives in Independence!!! That would explain why your post made zero sense.
ReplyDelete@ 5:22pm 10/27 yep this town reminds me of Mayberry and reading these comments cracks me the hell up, cause who do you see in the stands on game day at the Cheifs stadium cheering the brothas on.....none other than white people.... and the white women..... practically throwing their panties at the black ball players!! White people in this town man.... totally in denial.
ReplyDelete