Because it's more relevant, I was going to write another quick post about Smart Cars and how they're stupid looking and lame . . . Still, I realize that dorks who drive around those things are trying to do just a little bit to save the planet and are prepared to look like idiots when doing so . . . Like it or not, that's halfway admirable.
On the other hand, for some reason I'm noticed a bunch of BMW's around Kansas City streets over the weekend. Believe it or not, I've even had friends who have driven these fine examples of German engineering (post-Holocaust) . . . And what I contend is simple: Nearly every person I've ever met who drives a BMW is a world class a-hole.
I've never owned one, so I have no idea, but there is something about this brand of automobile that signals absolute the ABSOLUTE DOUCHERY OF EVERY PERSON WHO OWNS ONE . . . Women don't get a pass on this either, women who drive BMWs are also noticeably lacking in the qualities that comprise a decent human being.
As I was preparing this post I stumbled upon these images and thought that they had to be some less than clever spin on BMW advertising from Adbusters or some other bleeding heart . . . Nope, they're real ads, done in Europe and they've even won awards. Here's some of the info:
Bronze FigLeaf (2002)Anyhoo, normally (because I'm an adult) I don't think that the kind of products or apparel a person buys says anything about their personality or inherent worth - Many a douche goes "green" just as an SUV driver might be a total sweetheart - However, from what I've seen in Kansas City, a person driving a BMW is probably someone to avoid, someone with something missing inside, someone with a little less soul (or conscience) than everyone else. This sentiment doesn't come from jealousy, if I had the cash and wanted to give it to white people in Germany I'd much rather drive a Benz and pretend I was in a rap group . . . Nope, this is simply yet another accurate observation about life in Kansas City that I think can be replicated scientifically and stands as yet another one of my important contributions to this town.
Agency: D'Adda, Lorenzini, Vigorelli, BBDO, Milan - Italy
Advertiser: BMW Italia
Product: Vehicles
Ad: "Man"
Photographer: Sesse Lind
Headline: The ultimate attraction
What is the difference between a BMW and porcupine?
ReplyDeleteWith a BMW the prick is on the inside.
I find that people who drive those new mustangs that look like old mustangs are by far the worst human beings on the planet.
ReplyDeleteWow, I was thinking Adbusters as well. Pretty funny stuff from those Euros. Our hausfraus would be up in arms if those ran in the US. We're so pussified over here.
ReplyDeletethose cars are nice handling ( no homo)
ReplyDeletethe add makes sence though i always liked a girl with a nice car
ReplyDelete2009 already, still worth a comment: My first thought was: This must be a fake. Considering the picture quality though(technically speaking: lights, set up, etc.), i had some doubts, if that add probably was meant "for real".
ReplyDeleteThere was no way for BMW to publish this add in Germany, it would totally contradict there corporate identity and there campaigns so far.
So, my next guess would have been: must be an U.S. commercial, as the woman is still wearing her bra... on the other hand: i never even dared to take a piss in any public park in the states - no interest in getting deported or arrested as a sex offender... so there's no way for such an add to be published anywhere in the U.S..
Anyways: If I'd still live in the states, I'd definitely love to drive a bimmer:
1) I'm white
2) I'm german
3) I'm a douchebag
4) I have no sense of humor
5) BMW's are so f#####' CHEAP in the U.S, compared to what you'd have to spend over here in Europe
6) There is a serious Problem with japanese cars in the states: There are just too many of these ugly ricecookers; sometimes i felt like being in Tokio.
7) At least it would be easier to IMAGINE how it feels to drive at a reasonable speed, looking at a familiar interior ;-)