The contest for Jackson County Sheriff is interesting for a change!!!

Let's make this clear . . . TKC doesn't like endorsing political candidates mostly because I hate all politicians.

Nevertheless, I'm surprised by how many d-bags mistakenly believe that the people holding political office can make a difference.

Yet another manifestation of this lie to prop up the system (man) has been a flurry of interest in the Jackson County Sheriff's contest - I was gonna type "race" but they're all white so that doesn't make sense to me.

Let's look at the field and some of the dirt that's been circulating around the local blogs on the subject:

Mike Mauer is running for Sheriff. He kicked off his candidacy at La Fonda so I'm assuming he has the support of La Raza Political Club - I think that I'm required to endorse him based simply on that fact but it has been a couple of years since I've handed out ballots for the group and my loyalty is based solely on cash and the pursuit of snack cakes and white women. There's also word that he's a Republican and related to that racist-ass judge who didn't care about the rights of Black women and their unborn babies - I'm not sure if any of this is true but I do know that I don't care . . . Let's continue . . .

John Bullard wants to be Sheriff - He has a crappy website that says so. By now everyone with an interest in Kansas City blogs knows that Bullard has a bit of a black cloud hanging over his head with the death of his dog Hondo a couple of years ago under questionable circumstances (HONDO NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!) - I don't care about the dog but there was an 82 year-old driver involved in an accident in the ensuing ride to the vet that is actually worth noting even if the driver is probably dead by now of natural causes and nobody cares about old people. I hinted that I could endorse Bullard but then I was surprised that it was already a two man race.

Enter Mike Sharp (No Homo) - Sharp has a better website than any of the other candidates and I recently noticed on the way home from hanging out aimlessly at Crown Center and hitting on corporate chicks in business suits that Sharp had his kickoff event at KC Hipster bar The Cashew. So obviously he either has good taste or a lot of money . . . I respect both even though I have no idea who the guy is . . . His site says he was KCPD so in that he has an advantage in terms of professionalism but then again he's from Lee's Summit and I hate the suburbs.

UPDATE: I almost forgot Gary Scherer and you probably did too!!! I want to include and deride every politico running for this office so I guess I should let the old man join the fun before his juice and naptime.

Still, I'm not making any endorsements TKC is just providing the first, best and most objective (gully) round-up of the Jackson County's Sheriff's race.

I guess I could just endorse whoever wins but I have a sneaking suspicion that I could get something out of this . . . Of course TKC doesn't want a bribe or any filthy campaign cash for that matter.

However, I do have a need to unfairly and indiscriminately exercise any kind of "authoritah" that comes my way but I could never become a cop for many reasons that include my penchant for afternoon naps. So maybe my endorsement and a lot of ensuing publicity from this blog could be garnered by the promise of making TKC a honorary deputy like Dwight Schrute???



And by the way, I want a gun.