Halloween is one of many days when KC women look forward to dressing like whores

Ladies, have you stared working on your Halloween costume yet?

This local blogger has and I'm sure it'll be awesome, just like her blog.

However, the rest of you skanks better get crackin'.

More than any other holiday, Halloween is a great time for ill-advised hookups. Women who dress up in tarty outfits for office parties or other grown-up Halloween shindigs are unmistakably sending out "signals" as to their state of mind and willingness to take home a random stranger. OF COURSE, you should make sure you get the "lady's" full consent before you even think about getting down and maybe even attempt to make your move BEFORE the broad in question polishes off her 9th supersized margarita; but there really isn't much doubt that the woman in the French Maid outfit is planning on having her ankles pinned behind her ears sometime before the night is over.

To wit, TKC wants to help every adult who has to endure a Halloween party this year by providing a quick rundown of female Halloween costumes and what they reveal about the psyche of the woman who squeezes into the outfit.

- Ah, the sexy angel. This broad is most likely a Protestant of some sort and probably wants to mock the rigid hierarchies and descriptions of Heaven laid out in Catholic doctrine which are only marginally related to the Bible. Expect this broad to be a bigger freak than you ever anticipated.

- For some reason I've found that the cat costume is a dead giveaway the woman in question is going to be a screamer. I don't know what the connection is but broads who are "cat people" do a lot of moaning . . . And that's always made me strangely uncomfortable, and hungry for Chinese food.

- Don't be fooled by the devil costume. You'd think that a broad sending out skanky vibes in a devil costume would be sure thing. More than likely, a random hookup with a woman wearing this outfit will result only in lock jaw and no reciprocation.

- Any woman wearing the French maid outfit might as well have "F-me!!" written across her forehead. You, my friend, are in luck if a broad adorned in this outfit decides that you're Mr. Right for the night. As always, wrap it up because this skeez has obviously been around but the French Maid costume is definitely a signal that anything goes for the douche dude of her choice. TKC FUN RECOMMENDATION: If the French maid takes interest in you, see if you can convince her that cleaning your bathroom and/or kitchen would be a really sexy way to start foreplay before you move on to the tossing salad phase. (Note: I guess I really do hate women.)

- Just a word of advice regarding any woman who thinks the nurse outfit is sexy. If you find yourself in an encounter with this broad - KEEP HER AWAY FROM YOUR ANUS!!! I've never found anything sexy about a hospital setting and broads who do are suspect.

- Any woman wearing a pirate costume on Halloween is a Lesbian. Don't let her fool you with talk of the popularity of those dopey Johnny Depp movies. Pirate costume for women = Lesbianism.

- By any means necessary, STAY AWAY FROM A WOMAN WEARING A TINKERBELL COSTUME. This broad's infantile view of sexuality will screw with your head and leave you hating yourself and anything having to do with "business time" for at least a couple of years. In the end, she'll wind up marrying some rich, non-threatening Asian dude while you regret seeing an assload of horrible art house movies. Be warned, the woman wearing the Tinkerbell costume is adorable but any interaction with her is always about how great SHE is while you struggle to comprehend whether or not her saccharine personality is the real deal or the greatest manipulative charade ever performed. (Note: Despite what you might think, I'm not referring to any particular woman but rather a "type" that usually does a lot of volunteer work . . . For college credit or to fill out the blank space on a resume).

- Witch/Bitch. There's a reason those words rhyme. Be warned!!! Boinking a woman wearing a witch costume after the office Halloween party, in all likelihood, includes her critiquing your form and a few more personal aspects of your anatomy.

- The best thing about a woman wearing the princess costume is that she's not too picky. The downside is that of all the Halloween skanks, this one is most likely to be 75 to 100lbs overweight. Life is give and take . . . The princess is worth considering when 3 a.m. rolls around and you know that the Taco Bell on Rainbow in KCK is already closed.

- Now, you might think that a woman who dresses up as a historical figure is a lesbian as well. Not true. However, any lady who wants to test your knowledge of history with her Halloween costume is obviously a "B." Tread carefully, any long term commitment to this kind of woman will most likely end with you reading a lot of self-help books at her behest and apologizing for your genitalia while watching the latest Bill Moyers documentary on PBS. A causal hookup with this kind of broad might be educational but a "relationship" will definitely involve you relinquishing your testicles.

There you have it, I hope you've appreciated this guide to Halloween costumes and what they "say" about the women who wear them to grown up Halloween parties. This could possibly be the most misogynistic post I've ever written . . . If not for the fact that it's completely true.