Suggestions for the unkind cuts soon to come at The Star

Because The Star was recently purchased by a smaller company than its former owner, there are undoubtedly many cuts in store at the local bird cage liner outlet. Rather than fire the employees who actually sweat to put the paper on the street (drivers, office workers, printers, etc.), I think it would be wise for the new company to get rid of some of the writers who are most likely overpaid and part of the reason that fewer people read The Star.

Here are my suggestions:

Keep'em. I may not like these guys but they consistently provide a good read.

• Joe Posnanski: As much as I hate most local sports. This guy still makes it entertaining.


• Hearne Christopher Jr.: He gets good gossip and that alone is enough to build an audience. Additionally, his very rich family could provide a source for donations if things ever get tight.


• Jason Whitlock: Like it or not (I don't) the guy has built a nationwide audience with his ESPN gigs. At worst, he can double as the night security guard to earn his pay.

Dump/downsize/dismiss. Basically, The Star needs to get rid of all of the affirmative action hires and the dinosaurs still housed at the paper. Their employment/entitlement is a part of the historical record of liberalism and cronyism that has nearly destroyed print media. Here's my hit list:

• Mary Sanchez: The new owners of the Star should know that Mexicans women work much cheaper than her. She may wear nice business suits but you could probably hire a dozen "more recent" arrivals from Mexico to replace her and also clean the place for less than half the price of her new Manolo Blahniks.


• Steve Penn: You want a Black guy with friends? Invite P. Diddy over for a special appearance and you'll not only create more buzz but also have something worth writing about . . . Unlike most of Penn's work.


• Louis Diuguid: I've always hated "do-gooders" and I think replacing this guy might benefit him as well since he obviously has some kind of vision impairment. Seems like he can only see racism when it applies to Black people and nowhere else.


• Greg Reeves: He doesn't want to express an opinion on his blog and that's what they're for . . . Seems like the new owners could simply hook up an RSS feed to local crime stats from area police departments for all of the analysis and insight that Greg provides.


• CW Gusewelle: You're in luck here. Retire this guy and Alzheimer's has already ensured that his readers won't remember his absence after a few minutes.

I have many more suggestions for the new owners but that's all for today. I wish you good luck with all of your firings. And I now realize that the glass building may have been an effort to let all of KC watch the soap opera that is the death rattle of print media.