Taxes up 520% in the Crossroads

Apparently, KC artists need tax breaks if they are going to stay in the Crossroads.

"If the city doesn't get its (stuff) together, I'm packing up and going to Kansas City, Kan.," said Stretch, an artist who owns a restaurant in the Crossroads and a sculpture garden on Locust.

Stretch said the taxes on one of his properties went up 520 percent.

That's a lot of sculptures to sell to white people with too much money. But if this city can't push around artists, then who are we gonna bully? Here's a compromise: Stretch gets a tax break because he's cool and successful. All other KC artists will be reimbursed for their rising taxes with write offs for recreational drug use, hours spent talking too loudly at bars and coffee houses about stuff they're only pretending to understand, all trendy t-shirt purchases over $30 and bad haircuts. These write offs should help even things out between the different brands of white people that pretty much all look the same to me. (I mean, c'mon. Is there any difference between a white guy wearing a suit or a Killers t-shirt? They've all got the same daddy with money.)