Friday, February 02, 2018

SHAME!!! PITCH PUBLISHES PATHETIC FIRST ISSUE UNDER NEW OWNERSHIP AND STARTS SLAP FIGHT WITH SEMI-RETIRED FORMER KANSAS CITY STAR GOSSIP COLUMNIST HEARNE CHRISTOPHER!!!



At a measly 43-pages, the Pitch "magazine" is clearly clinging to life as a Kansas City "alternative" publication.

There's not much there . . . Mostly stock photography, restaurant reviews, a couple of hipsters profiles along with some music notes. There's one staff writer, one editor and most of the freelancers seem to have jumped ship.

New managing editor David Hudnall posts the only missive worth reading and it's more of a round-up of old news with an exceptionally limp headline:

Chill out about the Westport sidewalk vacation

Mr. Hudnall calls out Westport power player Bill Nigro for alleged racism and silly quotes about hip-hop. Since last Summer, that's familiar territory and something locals have debated to death months and years ago. However, Mr. Hudnall redeems himself with this saucy passage . . .

"Maybe those kinds of comments fly in a 1998 Hearne Christopher, Jr., gossip column, but in 2018, they land with a big ol’ thud."

Ouch.

The "chill out" column just turned into a flame war.

On cue, likely taking a break from trying to sell/wash luxury cars in the middle of a Kansas corn field . . . Hearne Christopher dusted off his Underwood and let loose a torrent of vaguely connected clauses in his monthly screed:

"Hearne: Pitch Cheap Shots Westport Businessman With Dated Quotes"

Ugh.

I'm not going to link Hearne's defunct blog because there's no evidence that anyone reads it besides Chuck & Craig Glazer. Full disclosure: I filed about a year's worth of posts for that P.O.S. about 5 years ago and the only benefit that came from it is that I'm pretty sure TKC drank the legendary Jardine's jazz club into oblivion. You're welcome.

But I digress . . .

This kind of trash talk beef happens daily among the plebs who waste their time on Facebook to entertain themselves amid their quiet lives of desperation but the dust up among former Kansas City movers & shakers merits some attention . . . Not just because the Westport nonsense story was shamed by this week's far more profession journalistic examination from Vox but because the local catty polemics offer a real life look at the fate of "Kansas City Stars" and famous Dead-Tree Media denizens in this digital epoch.

First a (mildly) hilarious look at the players . . .



From left to right . . .

Stephanie Carey - The hands-on new Pitch owner has been HORRIBLE in her interviews touting the magazine and basically seems to regard it as the latest part of her social life. She's not trying to keep her strategy secret, it's obvious that she doesn't really know what she's doing and the atrocious fluff of her first issue reveals as much.

David Hudnall - We'll be nice. He was obviously distracted while writing his half story and likely working far more diligently trying to punch up his resume.

Hearne Christopher -  Still bothering Kansas City residents with two-hour phone calls from the aforementioned Kansas corn field luxury car parking lot.

Bill Nigro - Allegedly hates hip-hop which might not be that great of a sin and puts him in the same company as the Grammy's and music fans who cheer the ascendance of Burno Mars.

Again, silly quotes about the racial politics of midtown night life as Mr. Hudnall desperately clings to his late 30s by calling out Hearne Christopher as a relic is only half the fun.

On this Groundhog Day - What's important is that print media slap fighting is all the rage among NOBODY.

The day has finally come when the Pitch can't start an entertaining cat-fight among the easiest targets in all of Kansas City.

The irrelevance of this smallish kerfuffle contained in a few unread pages is the real story. The Internets, time and good taste is starting to close the door on the Pitch. Sadly, this smallish issue and petty disagreement on a tired topic is one of the last nails in the coffin of a formerly iconic publication.

Developing . . .

33 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, I think it's obvious that it got your attention. Can only agree that the Vox story was more informative.

Anonymous said...

Media navel gazing can be fun but this was too mean. I think the Pitch is right that they should get credit just for their existence. At this point they're doing good to hang on.

Jameson said...

^^^ Agree, but only because they didn't include that garbage about hip-hop. If there was that much demand then the would be a hip hop club. This story is more about Westport trying to stay afloat. They overextended and overbuilt far too much in 2016. They're hoping more condos will save them but people just aren't going to booze every night like the good old days. More so than any other neighborhood, Westport is suffering at the hands of speculative development.

Anonymous said...

WRONG. The final nail in their coffin was the move to a monthly. The guy who said it was going to be wildly successful is now unemployed.

Probably going to do part time at KCUR like all of the other print hacks in KC.

Anonymous said...

The pitch is all event planning now. It's a good marketing move. But that's why the headlines have been neutered.

Super Dave said...

Hearne has dissed the Pitch ever since he left. He still will dis the Star any chance he gets. Old boring news years ago but still a burr under Hearnes saddle.

Anonymous said...

Have to agree with Bill Nigro, a hip-hop club in Westport has always been bad news. The last time they had a rap party was when that off-duty cop was killed.

Anonymous said...

What in the actual hell is that woman wearing?

jeni said...

Looks like a roller derby outfit looks like. One of her many passions and something for her to fall back on when she gets bored with the pitch.

chuck said...

I got hammered at Jardine's a couple of times.

Would liked to have tipped a couple with ya TKC.

:)

That Jardine's chick was pretty interesting.

Oh yeah, Beana (?) something like that.

Anonymous said...

Pitch was great and it can be again. You keep doing your thing Stephanie! Don't let the haters get you down.

Anonymous said...

Wow!!! Hearne's still alive. Who knew? Who cares?

Anonymous said...

Chuck, HIS name was BYRON!
Jeez you really were hammered!
By the way he was back the next night looking for you, you left your pin Joe Boxers at his place.

Anonymous said...

WOO-HOO!
Chubby, grey hair dyed bright Henna, and a Red Rubber Swimsuit!
Tony, you've made Basement Boy's day!

Real KC said...

Stick a fork in the pitch, they're done.

Anonymous said...

One time I heard Nigro talk about how he ran all the blacks out of the neighborhood by blasting achy breaky heart from the pavilion steps. Wanna y’all about the illegal shit he is doing out of his bar currently?

Helen said...

That story is a half truth. They actually used classical music and it was blasted at young people who were gathering outside of Westport. But it was Nigro's call.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah the Pitch is awful ...from the guy who just gave them a shitload of free promotion.....

Tracy Thomas said...

Tony, you and Chuck were given free drinks at Jardines when you posted on kcconfidential. I'm so clueless, I just got free trade at Westport Flea Market. But then in the fine print, I learned it was only Tues/Wed/thursday, AND I had to buy a soda for cash!

Such a cheapskate, Hearne. Now 68, selling VW's in Topeka. Worth over $10 million, it is estimated. aka Lance 66049 on Match.com...

Anonymous said...

Tracy being savage. I seriously did not know Hearne was that old. I thought he was in his 50s?

You called, it, Tony. The owners are from some ad agency start-up. Even though The Pitch was neutered years ago, it's now castrated. Any type of media nowadays is antiquated. Hell, even a meme doesn't last a week.

Fuck Tony said...

Thanks for the link 10:55.

Done.

Anonymous said...

Tracy, even after you gave them all free blow jobs, they still wouldn't give you a free drink. That's just wrong.

Anonymous said...

When Tony wakes up, he's going to be really busy deleting comments.

Anonymous said...

"Worth over $10 million, it is estimated. aka Lance 66049 on Match.com..."

I give up, Tracy. What is this referring to?

Anonymous said...

2:41, is this the reason that former fireman Dave Larsen is now a "friend of this blog"?

Anonymous said...

Funny choice in pictures, three dressed men and their cohort women is in a figure skater outfit.

Anonymous said...

Beatin' that dead horse, again, goofus? How many articles did The Pitch publish about some mayor's crimmie son? And, the reports on the misguided choir boy spanned a few years, and covered several misadventures. Theft and violence, not just disrespectful "talk" to PoPos and failure to appear was documented in case files. Hmmmm...

Anonymous said...

Do not know why you are bragging?
You know the blogs are not making any money either.
Looks like everyone has shot themselves in the foot.
Besides the computer and phone companies laughing all the way to the bank.

Anonymous said...

Hobo ass wiping paper.

Anonymous said...

^^^ Absolutely agree.

Anonymous said...

That article is pretty lame, even for the Pitch. What I'm hoping is that the new editors will hire better freelancers. Some of the stuff that Jamie Wetzel has written has been the best content they've published in years.

Anonymous said...

The beast in red should be arrested for publishing that self photo. The editor looks like a typical homo hipster. Tracy, true to herself, has “been there, done that.” Write about JFK’s assassination, and I’m sure Tracy would claim to have had coffee with him that morning and advised Jackie to wear the pink suit.

Anonymous said...

Horrible cover. The Ptch needs to learn that as a monthly, you need to have stronger covers than a weekly throw away.