Saturday, July 05, 2014

SHOCK!!! KANSAS CITY DUDE LOSES HAND AFTER TRAGIC INDEPENDENCE DAY ILLEGAL EXPLOSIVE CELEBRATION MISTAKE!!!



It's Kansas City 5th of July and those of us who made it through another year with all ten fingers and toes should count ourselves lucky.

To wit . . .

CHECK THIS TRAGIC TWEET FROM THE KCPD CHIEF REPORTING A KANSAS CITY DUDE WHO HAD HAS HAND BLOWN OFF WITH A STICK OF DYNAMITE AMID INDEPENDENCE DAY CELEBRATION!!!

Here's the word . . .



This story reminds us that extremism in pursuit of liberty might not be a vice but COULD be a nasty way to earn the nickname "stumpy" for the rest of your life . . .

Developing . . .

57 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Two Words:

STUPID FUCK

Anonymous said...

Three Words:

ONE HAND CLAPPING

Anonymous said...

Ban fireworks except for municipal celebrations, stadia, etc.

Mr. Bation said...

That could seriously complicate doing the one-eyed Willie crazy hand jive.

Anonymous said...

Tony B; New spokesman for the safety police.

Anonymous said...

That's one dangerous dildo, dude!

Light this said...

My neighborhood is safe. All the drunk Firefighters are the ones shooting off the fireworks. It must be safe or they wouldn't be doing it. Right?

Fly On The Wall said...

Last Words:

"Hey everybody...Watch This!"

Anonymous said...

Is he a handyman?

Not anymore.

Anonymous said...

A 7:12 How would that make a difference? The dude was using dynamite, not fireworks. You can't fix stupid with laws, lord knows the conservatives continue to try.

Anonymous said...

Alvin Brooks is dead. Good.

The Coach said...

"He's no longer in the relay race, and has been cut from the track team:
Talk about blowing the handoff!"

Anonymous said...

728 get the fireworks out of the supply chain

Anonymous said...

And Darwin is smiling.

Anonymous said...

Fuck you 7:12 saying that is like saying get rid of all guns. There is always going to be the assholes who have to do it all wrong no matter what.

Anonymous said...

His dream of being a concert pianist just fell to pieces...on several neighbors' lawns.

Anonymous said...

740 I want to get rid of all guns too.

Kid Dy-No-Mite! said...

Eyewitness description?

Anonymous said...

meat flap. that bad kind.

Kansas City Darwin Award Nominee said...

Hope this guy makes it, would hate to have a Darwin Award Winner here.

A better idea said...

7:54 - How about we just get rid of people like you?

Anonymous said...

Soon to be seen on Craigslist:

Must Sacrifice - Great set of bongos.

Anonymous said...

758 let's split into two countries. Intelligent people in one and gun nuts in the other.

Anonymous said...

809...I like where this is going. You don't need much space. They'd end up shooting each other or themselves.

P Bear said...

Wonder if the Killa City Tree Killa's will have a

pic of this near genius in the Sat or Sun

edition?

If he is white, count on it.

No pic = Hoodisrattis !

nigga fin dis funy said...

Ahhhhhhhhhhahahahahahhaha!!!!! now he gonna hav to wipe he ass wif de otha hand!!! Hahahahahaha!!!!

Anonymous said...

@809 I will live in the middle because I am an intelligent gun owner! To use your new liberal go to term: I think you call people gun nuts is racist.
Back to the real story I just hope that this was his shooting hand. The bigger problem is if he survives he will be on disability for the rest of his life and we get to pay for his f up. Yeah us!!!!(sarcasm)

Editor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Editor said...

Once I used to brag about my handy man, but I ain't braggin' no more
Somethin' strange has happened to my handy man, he's not the man he was before
Wish somebody could explain to me, about this dual personality?
He don't perform his duties like he used to do, he never hauls the ashes 'less I tell him to,
Before he hardly gets to work he says he's through, my handy man ain't handy no more.

Anonymous said...

hoodisrattis!!!! LOL

pretty funny, idioticus supersonicus

Anonymous said...

@838, and if he is black and they post his picture, you will STFU?

Likely not.

Anonymous said...

There goes that socialist Mr Darwin again, helping to purify the gene pool. Natural selection can be ugly.

Anonymous said...

8:09: the country already has split into one for intelligent people and one for gun nuts and the like. We call it blue states and red states.

Anonymous said...

You can give them to me

Kim Jong Un said...

Bet it was the hand his trigger was on.

Neil Hamburger said...

All these comments and only the one about bongos and concert pianist gets a laugh.

This place is slipping.

David Attenborough for Nature said...

Here you can see the severed paw of a Hoodisrattis Urbanis Feralis who tried to eat a stick of TNT. It amazes me that a creature so lacking in intelligence is able to survive in great numbers but the ability of the male of the species to devote a considerable amount of his time and energy and the reproductive capacity of the female makes for a good evolutionary strategy for the Hoodisrattis Urbanis Feralis and explains the rapid expansion of their destructive habitat in to more viable socio-economic habitats.

Anonymous said...

Why couldn't he just run around with a loaded gun like all the other kids? (And grownups.)

Anonymous said...

How will Pbear give handjobs at bazokas now? One handed handjobs wont work on the big black cocks he likes :(

shake and bake amd i helped said...

Another example of white power. Look mooma i got fire turn off fox news come out the trailer and watch me explode!

Anonymous said...

Hey! ...anybody looking for a bloody hand??

Anonymous said...

Those are illegal to have in the first place. Who would ever light a half stick in their hand?


This guy is as dumb as the mobs that run through the plaza yelling like chimps and fighting.

Anonymous said...

Looks like the nigger loving ass kissers are out in force today. Black cock blowing faggot fucks.

Anonymous said...

There once was a whore named Alice
Who used dynamite as a phallus
It was in North Carolina
They found her vagina
And her ass ended up in Dallas.

Anonymous said...

I hope he wasn't a wall paper hanger!

Anonymous said...

Hey stupid 712, dynamite is already banned for general public use on the 4th of July. I'm not sure banning sparklers would make much difference with this idiot.

Why would a fire fighter be any better at shooting off fireworks than any other numskull?

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know what happened at the Gladstone fireworks display? After waiting until almost 10 to start, the display seemingly ended with the grand finale maybe 10 minutes later. After a long pause of many minutes and cars slowly streaming out of the area, suddenly the fireworks started again, in rapid fashion. Was there some sort of malfunction on the grand finale, or did someone just not notice there were a few more boxes of fireworks that needed to be shot?

Premature grand finale. Go figure.

Anonymous said...

2:03 typical white guy sexual response premature finale...hence the obsession on this blog with blacks and ghetto sex. Pbear and cum guy can't stop wondering why thier wives and ex gfs wont stop going black and not includomg them in the fun.

Anonymous said...

36th and bales should answer your question.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure the toy traniz omg bernderrgle corrupshun unjust undue dejanesus caused this!

Save us Jim Nutter! Save us Rexie von Rexroth! Save Pat Tooley and Dan Coffeebreath!

Tell us in the paper about how you decided that tax money should go to fund subrube-an road welfare but no publix tranististors!

OMG CK hahahahahahah

Guffaw said...

One hand clapping.

Blaz Tavers, local gadfly said...

Hard-charger making a pretty decent pun with "subrube-an."
The difference between road welfare and toy train welfare is the roads allow people to get to jobs, groceries, to doctor's appointments, etc.

The train does none of that... oh, I know, I know... you have to build the billion dollar thing and those pieces will just fall into place. You read it in a book somewhere... heck, you've seen how it works in Europe or even better, Portland!

Just out of curiosity, what was our resident mensan's positions on the P & L or 18th and Vine?

Sweet Jesus, we're gonna be nostalgic for those level's of failure once this things gets built.

Anonymous said...

And Mensa boy checks in at 4:40 just to prove Darwin was not infallible.

Anonymous said...

Self "employed" fake Brooksider checks in 4 places in 5 minutes, to make sure the "voice of Brookside" is heard loud and clear about midtown and eastside issues!

He has a mandate people! Jim Nutter sez so!

Anonymous said...

It's quite funny that douche bags like 2:13 make lame attacks that go nowhere. Stick to smelling ass crack, loser. Moon cricket wanna-be.

Anonymous said...

Before banning fireworks lets make killing someone outlawed. See if that works first.
Laws are only obeyed by those who respect the law in the first place and know the consequencies.

Anonymous said...

What a trajedy. Hope we get deets on how this person go dynomite. How sober this person was when he lit it. Why did he have to hold dynomite to light it.

Would be interesting to get the whole story.