Saturday, December 21, 2013

THE TKC SATURDAY NIGHT PLAYLIST!!! CRAPPY GIFTS FOR KANSAS CITY CELEBS!!!



It's not even close to crunch time for last minute Christmas shopping in Kansas City.

One year, I'm pretty sure that I made all my x-mas purchases @ the neighborhood gas station in less than 10 minutes. This year we've actually got a bit of time to plan given the treacherous streets and because I don't want to look at Kansas City ice photos posted on social media or get bummed out by idiots robbing thrift stores.

To wit . . .

CHECK OUT THE EPIC X-MAS LIST OF CRAPPY GIFTS FOR KANSAS CITY CELEBS!!!

Proving that even po'folk can celebrate the birthday of baby Jesus with the Kansas City civic elite.

Check our quick and dirty list:

City Council Dude Russ Johnson: Gently used copy of "How To Win Friends And Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.

Kansas City Dead Tree Media Dude Yael Abouhalkah - Nose Hair Trimmer

Mayor Pro Tem And 5th District At-Large Council Lady Cindy Circo - Gift Certificate To SuperCuts

3rd District At-Large Council Lady Melba Curls - Post-It Reminder Notes

Former Parks Board Dude John Fierro Planning A Council Run - Turtle Wax

Union Station Honcho George Guastello - Oven Mitts For Playing Hot Potato

Mayor Sly James - Prank Spinning Bow Tie

Power Broker Jason Grill - Skele-Toes

Rapper Tech N9ne - The Christmas Music Of Johnny Mathis

Weather Hottie Erin Little - Family Size Bag Of Honey BBQ Cheetos Puffs Just For Her.

Please feel free to suggest your own gifts that'll probably be more mean-spirited than anything else and not cheeky and fun.

And so, that's my shopping list and this intense X-mas planning has inspired tonight's Kansas City playlist for dangerous local streets.



As always, thanks for reading this week and have a safe and fun Saturday Night.

27 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Dood. I actually think Sly already has a spinning bow tie. How else do you think he CUT taxes this year. Sorry TKC.

chuck said...

Funny stuff.

Anonymous said...

Where is that asshole Superdud at? You can get him a copy of writng for dummies.

Anonymous said...

He is at the crowded malls groping the little kids with Uncle Ed

Anonymous said...

You left off Van Loh. http://www.target.com/p/sonix-city-airport-playset/-/A-14068366

Anonymous said...

Sho nuff!!!!

He a triflin foo!

Anonymous said...

For Glazer, the book: Borderline Personality Disorder For Dummies
By: Charles H. Elliott, Laura L. Smith

Anonymous said...

For Paul Wilson, the book; Healing the Angry Brain - How Understanding the Way Your Brain Works Can Help You Control Anger and Aggression
By: Ronald Potter-Efron, MSW, PhD

Anonymous said...

Glazer and Hearne need the book: Win Friends and Influence People

Anonymous said...

For Tony: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Finishing Your Basement
byDan Ramsey, Chris Eliopoulos (Illustrator), Dave Schrock (Foreword by)

Anonymous said...

For the Chiefs
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding Football Like A Pro

xalti said...

@9:51 FTW!

Anonymous said...

For mark Alford. And scott Parks -

Job's, in a different town

KC Voter said...

For Kansas City, a new Mayor.

Anonymous said...

Jackson county prosecutors, some balls and a spine, enough to file charges on the arrowhead killing.

Anonymous said...

Wilson broad, a new singing voice.

Anonymous said...

Wilson guy, the the hope to keep pushing on, after such personal tragedy.

Fairy Dust for 2014 said...

For George Guestello, since he has no "balls" hanging, a box of oversized tampons. Being that big a "cunt" calls for oversize "pons".

For Christa Dubill, a gift certificate to Jenny Craig and 2 tons of hay.

For Tony, best wishes for a great 2014 and our thanks for allowing us to post stupid ass comments on a blog instead of pulling our hair out in frustration with all the stupidity going on around Cowtown. Oh, and a new pair of kneepads. Tony has spent so much time on his knees sucking off KJ, Alonzo, Glazer, and several other bottom feeders than his kneepads are worn out. The cheap ones from Home Depot will do.

Nextdoor... said...

7:47 wrote the first two paragraphs and I finished it off with wishes to Tony while 7:47 wiped his ass as he shat himself laughing at his own Crista Dubill comment.

Anonymous said...

Zzzzzz

Anonymous said...

For Tony - One free Brazilian face wax.

Mark Alford said...

AoooHooooHoooooo!!!!!! AoooHooooHooooo!!!!!! fuck you!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Ain't that a bitch
You're watching
a show on fox 4
And all the sudden you are fucking assaulted with shit like that!! ,from that group of idiots.
Just the goofiest
Bunch of fuckin
People!!!!!



Anonymous said...

For Councilman Michael Brooks, a car he can afford the lease payments on, and some saltpeter to calm his urges.

Anonymous said...

a condom for Fierro's penis head!

Anonymous said...

A dictionary that emphasizes the word "oxymoronic" for anyone who characterizes the self-important bozos in KCMO government as "celebrities".

Anonymous said...

I want to buy Jan's potato salad!