Tuesday, December 24, 2013

KANSAS CITY CHRISTMAS EVE ADVISORY!!! PLEASE DON'T SHOOT AND KILL SANTA!!!



Here's a holiday message that seems apropos given our current spike in deadly Kansas City violence at the end of the year . . . Also, it's nice to contrast saccharine mainstream newsie fare that's far too family friendly to be important.

Anyhoo . . .

AUTHORITIES, COMMUNITY ACTIVISTS AND CONCERNED RESIDENTS ADVISE KANSAS CITY RESIDENTS TO REFRAIN FROM SHOOTING AT SANTA THIS EVENING!!!

Already Santa has taken some fire today . . . But given the Duck Dynasty hot mess . . . It's understandable that residents might fear some white guy with a long beard hovering over local skies.

Locals shoot innocent joggers, pets and children so the fear of Santa taking a bullet is very real.

Be advised . . .

Shooting Santa will not make Kansas City safer and given the uptick in this year's Christmas culture war, talk of Santa's whiteness and the ongoing decline of the American middle-class . . . There's no guarantee that he won't shoot back.

6 Comments:

Anonymous said...

You silly bastid.

Anonymous said...

Fucking A he will shoot back

Anonymous said...

You think the North Pole doesnt have conceal and carry? Shiiiiiiiit. His sleigh is supposedly made by Northrop Grumman so you better watch out.

Anonymous said...

better title = Santa goes on a rampage in CK.

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas Tony.

Anonymous said...

I shot the Santa/but I swear it was in self defense/I shot the Santa/and They say it was a capital offence