TKC QUESTION: KANSAS CITY ROYALS PITCHER JEREMY GUTHRIE: HIPSTER?!?
This could be the most important debate of the day and the reputation of a major league sports figure hangs in the balance.
To wit . . .
THE TKC BLOG COMMUNITY MUST DETERMINE WHETHER OR NOT KANSAS CITY ROYALS PITCHER JEREMY GUTHRIE IS A HIPSTER!!!
We don't take the Hipster tag lightly around this bloggy dump and it's a term we only use to label the most deplorably trendy souls.
Indictments of Kansas City Hipster-ism against Mr. Guthrie:
1. Mr. Guthrie is a DJ . . . A recent Fox4 exposé revealed the Royals star in the DJ booth and quoted his affinity for boy bands . . . Now, if he was "spinning" that would be an automatic guilty charge . . . The pop radio appearance is actually a saving grace if only because sports radio is far too dominated by fanboy nerds.
2. Jeremy Ghuthrie has an intense sneaker fetish and seems to have an affinity for classic Air Jordans - A staple of Williamsburg attire.
3. Ladies and gentlemen in the court of public opinion . . . LOOK NO FURTHER THAN THE THE JASON MRAZ HAT WORN BY MR. GUTHRIE AS AN INDICATION OF HIS FALL INTO THE ABYSS OF HIPSTERISM!!!
4. He's in his 30s, getting a bit too old for his profession and can't put down his stupid mobile phone . . . Yes, it's a common affliction but still inexcusable given that young millionaires are supposed to pay
strippers assistants to handle their communications.
5. Mixtape T-Shirt - It's cool, sparks conversation and there's not a single BBQ or beer stain on it . . . In Kansas City that kind of impeccable and trendy grooming is a clear indication of the dreaded hipster lifestyle.
And just so this blog post isn't mistaken for cutes-y fan adoration:
TKC DECLARES JEREMY GUTHRIE GUILTY OF BEING A HIPSTER AND SUGGESTS AN IMMEDIATE TRADE TO SEATTLE!!!
It's all fun and games until somebody wears a handle-bar mustache and gets hurt. Mr. Guthrie needs to go not only because the Royals were 3rd place pretending to be contenders but also because hipsters never really helped anybody win anything.
We've made our decision and leveled the charges in a concise manner . . . Now it's up to you d-bags to decide . . .