TKC EXCLUSIVE AND BREAKING NEWS!!! KANSAS CITY ACCORDING TO BYRON FUNKHOUSER!!!
Quickly . . . A thoughtful perspective from a TKC Comment Regular . . . Please send yours too . . . We'll post and discuss as long it's legal . . .
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS RECENT OPUS FROM THE MAN WE CALL BYRON FUNKHOUSER!!!
From The Mind Of Byron Funkhouser . . .
The whole world marvels at the accomplishments of the brain trust that is Kansas City, MO.
We especially want to know what the last few Ms. Anonymous Rethuglicans think about people on disability. We can't wait to hear you pontificate on Obama Phones & Government Cheese, & how the poor people are ruining the country.
We love how your ethnically diverse community thrives in peace & harmony & we all want to emulate you. We especially love the way you care about people on the other side of the world, but not your neighbors, because they are the wrong color. They way you disassociate yourselves from the daily murders is amazing. How do you do that?
Yes siree, boys & girls, we are all waiting to see how your new shiny streetcar will revitalize your downtown, & how your new airport will attract new travelers, & your new downtown hotel will attract conventioneers. We especially marvel at way you are paying for all of this. Of course, your embrace of basic democratic principals is inspiring. The rest of us are just autocrats compared to the disciples of the Founding Fathers found in your city.
The way you manage your city services with such efficiency is the envy of the free world & we are all busy taking notes. Because you are definitely the New Jerusalem. Clearly, anyone who doesn't live in Kansas City is a stupid hillbilly loser, & we all wish we could move to this land overflowing with milk & honey.
But, I don't like BBQ, and I like having my doors open to let in the night breeze. I like hearing the crickets & the tree frogs, & I think that all of that gunfire & traffic noises & sirens would make it hard to sleep. So, I guess I'll have to stay here, where there's little class snobbery, little crime, & no racial tension. Alas, poor me, I'm doomed to remain a stupid hillbilly. Sniff. (: