Saturday, September 14, 2013

KANSAS CITY COMEDY & FOOTBALL WEEKEND ACCORDING TO CRAIG GLAZER!!!



TKC NOTE: Our pal Craig Glazer is keeping VERY BUSY as usual and right now he's sharing a comprehensive guide to his weekend along with insight into all things football. Check it:

VH1 Superstars Jim Florentine and Don Jamieson And NFL/College Picks



When I first met Jim Florentine and Don Jamieson they were a couple of East Coast comics who sat in their apartment all day recording telemarketer pranks. They literally made fun of and tortured every telemarketer that called any time of day or night. Jim and Don made these into DVD’s and CD’s in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. They did five CD’s and they did a pilot called ‘Meet the Creeps’ based on those characters. Shortly after, Comedy Central gave them a show called ‘Crank Yankers’. Jim created a character named ‘Special Ed’, one he borrowed from his telemarketing CD’s, Special Ed had a famous line regarding his excitement over getting E-mails; ‘I got Mail! I got Mail! I got Mail! Yay!’ Crank Yankers was one of the few shows to use live puppets as the stars. Jim worked with many famous co-stars including Kevin Nealon and Eminem on the TV show.

With the success of Crank Yankers came an offer from HBO for them to be pranksters and comedy relief on their hit show, ‘Inside the NFL’ which also starred Kansas City’s own Len Dawson. The boys would pull pranks at NFL stadiums like dressing up in the wrong team’s outfits and pretending they had landed at the wrong stadium. They pulled one prank where they were guest religious leaders giving a pep talk to an NFL team in their own locker room, very funny. Their segment was so popular they each won an Emmy™ Award for their efforts.

Five years ago, VH1 hired Don and Jim to star on their new series, ‘That Metal Show’. It’s a hard rock show with guests like David Lee Roth and Ozzy Osbourne just to name a few. They talk about the history of the music, what’s going on today and entertain with their own brand of humor. They do two seasons a year and are entering their 13th season on V1. This is the longest running VH1 series ever. Jim Florentine and Don Jamieson will be at Stanford & Sons all weekends with 2 shows Friday and 2 shows Saturday. Come see these two crazy nuts go at it with their own brand of humor. Call (913)400-7500 for tickets or visit stanfordscomedyclub.com.

Weekend Football Picks



Well sports fans, last week we had a winning record of 3 and 2. Not a spectacular start but decent. As you can see, there were a lot of very close games and even though I picked the winners of every game except the Jets, I still lost a few because my winning team didn’t cover the spread. From what we saw on TV and head from radio analysts picks, three and two was darn good.

Remember, I am trying to win games, not make decisions on what are necessarily big or popular games, some of those are too close to call. However, let’s talk about the Kansas City Chiefs. With a convincing victory over the Jacksonville Jaguars, our KC Chiefs are the darlings of the Kansas City populace. Right behind them are the Kansas City Royals just two games off the Wild Card, wow! For the first team in years I expect to see nearly every seat full as the Chiefs welcome America’s Team, the Dallas Cowboys to Arrowhead. I find it a bit odd that KC is a three point favorite over the Cowboys who beat a much better Giant’s team last week. All I can think is that Tony Romo got banged up pretty bad last week and maybe his ribs are weaker than we’ve been told. So I suspect this is the reason the Chiefs are favored. Dallas has way more weapons than the Chiefs on offense. From Des Brian to Jason Whitten, while the Chiefs defense played one of their best games in years, you still have to be suspicious of what appears to be a Dink and Dunk offense. Though Alex Smith looked solid in the first half, he was unable to move the team at all in the second half against the weak Jaguar defense, not impressive. Also of concern is the fact that the Chiefs offense is built around Jamal Charles both running and passing. It would appear his season ending injury is always just a play or two away, let’s hope not. Also of deep concern is the fact that Alex has yet to throw a deep ball completion to anyone either in pre-season or regular season play. While the receiving core looks improved, there still is no ‘home run hitter’. Smith is going to have to take off and run with the football more often than he may have been planning on. The Dallas runs a Tampa 2 system which is built to stop the short pass that the Chiefs offense relies on. On the bright side, the Chiefs defense was great, especially Justin Houston. Arrowhead will be rocking, this is arguably the biggest game the Chiefs have played in ten years. There is a chance the Chiefs can win this game and become a legitimate playoff contender, a team that could win ten plus games. Remember, they have a weak schedule. A loss likely means the Chiefs will battle to be .500 team. What do I think? I say take the Dallas Cowboys +9 and tease it with the Oakland Raiders over the terrible Jags at even.

College Picks
South Carolina (-7) over Vanderbilt on a tease with Ohio State (-8) over Cal
Louisville (-10) over Kentucky tease with Oregon (-18) over Tennessee
Alabama (-8) over Texas A&M

NFL Picks
Dallas Cowboys (+9) over Kansas City tease with Houston (-1) over Tennessee
Atlanta (-1) over the Rams on a tease with Oakland (even) over Jacksonville
Lastly, San Francisco (+9) over Seattle on a tease with The Green Bay Packers (-1) over Washington
Enjoy the weekend, follow me on Twitter @KCKingofSting.
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46 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Not bad. Romo's condition will largely determine the Chief's fate but I gotta agree with most of the picks here.

Now, let's go make some money with these tips. Good luck everybody!

Anonymous said...

Good picks. Agreed. Chiefs have a shot but only if the D shows up.

MD in KC said...

Didn't see your picks on KCC, Glaze, so I'll post mine here. These were posted on KCC earlier this morning:

Baltimore -6.5
Indianapolis -3
New Orleans -3
Oakland -5.5
Cincinnati -7

... and since you made six bets, I'll also go with Atlanta -6.5.

MD

Anonymous said...

What is this Hearnes Kansas City now or something?

Anonymous said...

Supermarket checkout line blog.

Anonymous said...

That's what happens when you've got Tony and Hearne both taking money from their "pal," and their "pal" posting the same exact garbage on both sites.

It would be nice if they both just admitted they're getting paid.

Anonymous said...

To both Hearne and Tony, Glazer is like a frozen turkey that goes on sale the week before Thanksgiving.

You'll lose money on the turkeys, but you hope they bring people into the store.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way with blogs in the long run. They both underestimate the damage done to any semblance of credibility they might have as the blog turns into a running joke.

Anonymous Andy said...

Tony and Hearne are both deaf when it comes to Glazer. Preach all you want they don't listen.

MD made his post here because Glazer is to big a pussy to go one on one with MD over at KCC to see who has the best record this season on picking the winners in football games. We all know Glazer is a huge fucking liar and gets pissed when you show him so. So he is dodging MD on who has the best picks because he knows in the end unless blind luck shines on him he will probably lose the contest. And well you know how Glazer is when you prove him wrong he gets all mean and calls you names, losers and so forth.

Anonymous said...

Nice part is MD does straight picking and not these teaser crap picks Glazer likes to fuck you around with.

Anonymous said...

I like his picks and teasers when they win are great.

Insiders Tip said...

Oh Liar, where is the new comedy club that was to have been opened no later than two weeks ago?

More bullshit from the King of Liars no doubt.

Least Glazer has someone in Vegas who makes his picks for him since he is too stupid to do it on his own.

j.brodie said...

Comedy & Football... Not since Charlie.Krueger stuffed that big, fat meathead of his into that tiny 49er helmet have the two gone together so well!

k.c.star comix reader said...

cat humpin that mailmans face in "Pooch Cafe"... found porn in third panel of "Red and Rover"... same ol, same ol...

Anonymous said...

Good breaksown of Chiefs/Cowboys agreed

Anonymous said...

Mr. Glazer needs a proofreader.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Glazer's work is competent. What he needs to do is separate himself from all of his weirdo stalkers following him around all of the time.

Anonymous said...

2:32 what we need is incompetent folks like you keeping your mouth shut due to your stupidity.

Anonymous said...

Dallas opened at +3, Houston at -9.5. If you got six points per game across the board on the teaser, how do you explain getting Houston down to -1? Bullshit.

Vegas will give you, at most, seven points a game. You got 14.5 points on a two-team teaser? Again, bullshit.

Anonymous said...

3:19 we are all stupid and Glazer the King of Crap gets to make his own rules and you best shut up or he will want to beat the crap out of you in front of some location in Westport as he holds a paper saying he was there with his goon squad.

Anonymous said...

According to scoresandodds.com Houston opened at 7 went to 8 and is now 9. Vegas odds are on the board. So when Craig made the call it was at 7. You can read that online. The only fool is you.

Anonymous said...

Glazer remember haters need to hate.

The Vigorish said...

Craig has a lot to learn when it comes to oddsmaking but it's nice to see that his "fans" hang on his every word.

Anonymous said...

Stanfords is set to open at the Uptown area soon. They are hiring people for that spot. I know my girlfriend is going to work there.

Anonymous said...

3:54 --

http://www.scoresandodds.com/casinogrid.html?sort=rot

According to that site, Houston-Tennessee opened at -8.5. Dallas-KC opened at +1. You're full of crap, and so is Glazer.

Anonymous said...

4:30 your girlfriend is an idiot to work there she will regret it.

Anonymous said...

You guys keep bitchin and Glaze keeps winnin.

Anonymous said...

Glazer is going to lose fucking big time this weekend you heard it here

Anonymous said...

Craig Glazer is a fucking pussy such a pussy he won't play with MD what a rat fuck coward he is no wonder he had a snitch rap.

Anonymous said...

You guys need to go read this comment at KCC he just owned Glazer.

Anonymous says:

September 14, 2013 at 4:50 pm

Thanks to the conversation at TKC: http://www.scoresandodds.com/casinogrid.html?sort=rot

Houston opened at -8.5. At no point in the week were they -7. And Dallas opened at +1.

MD said last week that he made his picks based on covers.com.

Pretty convenient for CG to come with “lines” and not say where they’re coming from, or to come up with “teasers” that can’t be verified out of thin air. Looks like he decided to just pick and choose what sounded good. That’s one way for CG to win 60 percent of his bets.

Wildman said...

Let's see if my little scheme will work. I'm the WILD MAN! I don't really understand the Internet but I'm not willing to learn new things. Let's hope I can use my powers of persuasion to try and make a mess. I hope nobody easily sees through it.

Anonymous said...

Hey wildman stop spamming your shit site on here. Go try and do your own thing! You should strive to do better than that, not an insult. We honestly want you to try and do better and get into a more productive mindset.

Anonymous said...

Alabama game?

Man that was a pussy bet if there ever was one.

Anonymous said...

And he lost the bet as well but we all know he didn't bet.

Anonymous said...

Yeah what a stupid bet, Bama was up and covering til the last seconds. Stupid ass Glazer, he won the other one, yep he is stupid.

Anonymous said...

Johnny Football is the man.

Anonymous said...

Well the Glaze missed going perfect by 1 point, A&M lost by 7 not 8. He called the other games all correctly. Nice. Lets see how he does in the NFL tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Fuck easy to do when you pick easy games they don't pay jack shit remember he says he does it for the money.

Teasers are for padding stats and bragging to people who don’t know about betting.

Say there’s a guy named Grover. He picks three two-team teasers. On the first teaser, he gets both games right (a win). On the second teaser, he only picks one game right. On the third teaser, he also gets only one game right. Now, he’s picked four games correctly (4-2 overall), but how many bets did he win? One — and because it’s a teaser, the payout isn’t as great as a straight bet (not to mention he’s in the hole for missing the other two teasers).

Another guy named Hank picks the same six games using just the spread. He also picks four games correctly. He’s got the same won-loss record as Grover (4-2). How many bets did he win? Four, and with a much higher payoff than any teaser. He’s using the winnings to buy Grover a pair of balls.

Anonymous said...

Guy at 11:24 HUH? A bet pays whatever you bet back if you win plus your winnings. If you bet a 1000 on a two game tease or one game it pays back about the same profit. You need math lessons.

Anonymous said...

no 8:12 you need gambling lessons

CG said...

The guy at 8:12 is correct. Look to be a hater is one thing, to be stupid is another. I have explained the tease enough. It is nearly the same as a one bet action. Pending on t he spreads of the two teams you pick, overall nearly the same bet. Again its harder to pick two wins instead of just one on a bet, but you get the six points on each game that helps. So its a matter of your belief in each spread. That's all. To say anything else about it makes you sound like the fool you are, as well as shows you have never bet on any games in Vegas in your life or you would know better. In fact almost all online spots have the same action. Maybe you bet with your mommy.

Anonymous said...

Fuck you Glazer and all your tease ass bullshit Maybe he bets with his mommy but never fucked his mother over like you did.

Anonymous said...

CG you and 8:12 didn't even read what was said at 11:24. Which shows what assholes you are.

If Glazer was such a hot ass gambler he would be living in Vegas not stuck in bum fuck Kansas City, but he is not close to being a pro and he don't win shit on his shit teases.

CG said...

Hey haters so far today I am undefeated, better than not bad, huh. I had Cowboys plus 9 a winner, Atalanta won and covered to did Houston and the Packers for me, now waiting on Oakland who is leading and SF to go undefeated. Kinda hard to say much to me on that, huh, went 2-1 yesterday in College ball.

You guys can't stand it. Man, go get some education and learn to read.

Anonymous said...

THE GLAZE IS ON IT TODAY. IT LIKELY WILL COME DOWN TO THE SAN FRAN GAME, IF HE COVERS THAT ONE HE IS PERFECT TODAY. TRUE.

Anonymous said...

4:47, Glazer could win every bet he places from now until the end of time, but he will not be, nor has he ever been, perfect.

Anonymous said...

Point