Friday, January 04, 2013

THE TKC WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS!!!



Adrianne Palicki as Wonder Woman reminds us that power players shape the local landscape while the rest of us are left just watching these influential people in action . . . Check it:

POLITICOS



1. Jackson County Executive Mike Sanders - He defeated a potential adversary with kindness this week and showed us how Kansas City politics is played.

2. Gov. Jay Nixon - No longer with any veto-power . . . He'll be governing by press conference and that means more trips to Kansas City.

3. Sen. Claire McCaskill - Leading "Girl Power" in our nation's capital.

4. Congressman Emanuel Cleaver - Securing his legacy in Kansas City.

5. Mayor Sly James - Some call him "The King Of Kansas City" and he's now afraid to pick up enemies.

NEWSIES



Mahoney - Kansas City's GOLD STANDARD of reporting is off to a strong start this year.

Barb Shelly - At the very least, this liberal white lady doesn't try to hide her opinions.

Erin Little - Yes, we noticed that she lost the baby weight AND the fact that she's showing off her new tightness with a wide array of form-fitting dresses.

Randy Turner - We like the Turner Report and it's kinda like a blog with better manners.

Phil Witt - Our long time local inspiration and our idea of the quintessential Kansas City Anchorman.

NEW YEAR'S EVE RESOLUTIONS ALREADY BROKEN



Eating Right - I swear I bought a package of broccoli at some point but it's now lost under taco bell wrappers.

Being Nice - This one conflicted with my resolution to cut back on wasted effort.

Correcting Typos - You get the point. File this one under "Pearls Before Swine."

Objectivity - Even real journalists realize that it's a myth and mostly something that old white guys like to reminisce about back when they didn't let minorities on the news.

Productivity - I'm typing this on the toilet. Does that count?

As always, this list has been compiled according to scientific TKC polling and market research data and it's a weekly comprehensive guide to local powerful people.

11 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Silly, silly man.

Way To Go Tony. Kinda. said...

POLITICOS - The entire list is sickening. The last three are criminals.

Barb Shelly is a libtard TWIT of the first order.

Interesting that you profess having typed out this bog entry while dropping a few Obamas in to the porcelain appliance.

snicker doodle said...

"A few Obamas" lol.

Anonymous said...

My farts are more powerful than any of your politicos or newsies, although I hear Darla, not listed this week, cooks wickedly in the Dutch Oven. Her dome shaped derrière should produce deadly olfactory byproduct.

chuck said...

Love the Pearls Before Swine thing.

Very cool.

chuck said...

Me and all my white boys--loved this guy.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rk5btc0vlaY

Anonymous said...

Nice find Chuck!

Anonymous said...

Wonder woman? WTF?

Randy said...

Thanks for the kind words.

Just so you know said...

Remember it's not what you eat that counts it's who you eat.

Just ask Cindy and Crystal.

Anonymous said...

Crystal could be "Pearls on Swine"