The TKC Costume Party!!! Honestly, I don't really care if you have a Happy Halloween!!!

I was thinking that if any of the folks checking out TKC (including me) had friends or people who cared about them then they wouldn't be sitting at home reading a blog. So rather than simply avoiding the crowds of adults pretending to be clever and other assorted ghouls roaming through this town . . . It's much more productive to make fun of everybody in Kansas City . . . And just to rub it in, I'll note that while you d-bags are at home watching re-runs and pouting, I'm gonna be hosting an awesome costume party and not just wasting my life, talent and energy on the Internets . . . Here's a list of the interesting people and costumes showing up to TKC's kickass costume party that's just about to start:



Sarah Palin lookalikes . . . This is truly the best costume of the year and all it requires is a smoking hot bod, some glasses and absolutely no knowledge whatsoever of politics or foreign policy.



People wearing the Gloria Squitiro costume . . . It doesn't really matter what you're wearing as long as you're barefoot . . . And maybe using a racial slur.



Light Rail Advocates Crash the TKC Costume Party!!! Clay Chastain couldn't show up because he doesn't live in this town so in his place are the people who currently want light rail in Kansas City . . . I'm advising all of the folks who run into them to be VERY CAREFUL because they'll want to borrow money and they don't have a solid plan or any idea of how they're going to pay it back.



Sluts!!! Costume and clothing is optional.



Media people with lots of credibility!!! Hey, it doesn't matter that most newsies get a great deal of their content ideas from blogs nowadays and then badmouth the Internets in their spare time . . . Media has always been about hypocrisy . . . So all of the metro newsies (especially those in print media) are invited to my shindig to talk a great game while their news organizations continue to bleed red ink and fire employees.



No party in Kansas City is complete without crooks!!! They're everywhere and their numbers are growing. Violent Kansas City criminals seemingly rule the street as this town's murder rate reaches a record number . . . So there's no way that I wouldn't invite a few of these folks to my costume party.



White people with minority friends are invited to the TKC Costume Party!!! White folks who couldn't possibly be racist because of their minority friends are still in abundance in this town despite the fact that everybody else in the nation dropped this lame excuse to justify subtle bigotry years ago . . . Still, they're invited to tonight's TKC costume party . . . However they must bring along their companion and stay no more than 3 feet apart at all times. Limit 2.



Kansas City Hipsters wear their costume all year long!!! I guess I'll have to let a few of these d-bags through the door just to make sure some photos show up on Flickr.



Can we get the worst columnist in Kansas City to attend the TKC monster bash? Yes we can!!! Jeneé Osterheldt is walking though the door dressed as a pirate without a doubt . . . Only one obnoxious hoop earring tonight!!!



Last but not least MISSING WHITE WOMEN ARE INVITED TO THE TKC COSTUME PARTY!!! Since media watchers are forced to sit through newsies going crazy over white women who disappear while minority deaths are treated casually I guess the best thing to do is find as many missing white women possible to attend the party and then hope and pray that they make it home safely to avoid even more coverage . . .

That's pretty much the whole cast of characters . . . The party is getting started now so I better go . . . I don't really care if any Halloween creeps in Kansas City have a good time but I always try to be a good host.

The rest of you d-bags should be sure to have a safe and fun Halloween. Don't be scared.