TKC EXCLUSIVE!!! The Kansas City Co-Mayors could soon be Hollywood Stars!!!
The last I heard, Joe Miller - The Mayor's PR flack - was stuck in Development Hell with a screenplay adaptation of his book about how a liberal white guy from out of town single handedly saves the Kansas City School District and is the only hope and surrogate father/friend/mentor to a bunch of African-American teenage guys . . . Until, a better paying job came along.
No joke, he earned a deal at the Lifetime Network with some interest from HBO. I can't wait to see it actually.
In even better news, a far more talented writer (ahem) is currently in talks with a couple of major movie producers (non-porn) who have an interest in a script (a pitch actually) regarding Kansas City's first couple . . . The working title is "Co-Mayors: Feet of fury" the tagline: "The corridors of power never smelled this funky!"
Anyhoo, this is where TKC readers can help. The film needs a decent suggestion for the female lead.
Who will play Gloria Squitiro?
Here are my choices:
1. Rosanne Barr is the favorite, she can play mean perfectly, she has excellent comedic timing but that might be a problem considering that the character tells a bunch of horrible, racist jokes.
2. Kathy Bates would be an excellent choice and I have no doubt she would do the character justice . . . But, I still have nightmares about the role she played in Misery and this part would hit too close to home. Maybe she's too good.
3. My personal choice is John Travolta doing a quasi-reprisal of his role in that crappy musical remake of Hairspray. I'm sure there's a dancing scene somewhere in the flick and this film ranks right up there with his previous work in the epic "Look Who's Talking" trilogy.
Thankfully, someone is going to profit from Kansas City's unfortunate first couple and I think this town's return to the screen will be glorious even if it dwells on one of the worst Mayors evar . . . At the very least, it'll be better and way funnier than that crappy Altman movie.
And I know what you might be wondering:
Turnabout is fair play . . . The fat guy from Lost (Jorge Garcia) will be playing TKC.
posted by Tony Permalink
You're a fucking dick but this is actually very funny.
lolz.
Tony,
At least be honest about Joe's book. It was pretty good and WAS NOT about a white guy coming in and saving the day.
If anything it was about a white WOMAN coming in and saving the day.
Joe was just a minor character in his own book.
The Funk admin has plenty of stuff to make fun of without you having to bend the facts.
I was thinking that Jorge Garcia could play the Squid.
Crappy book, read it, was tortured by it, sent it to a local news guy just to screw with him. He SAYS he finished it, but I have my doubts.
Jorge Garcia would make a better Gloria Squitiro, just make him be a little bit more masculine.
"I was thinking that Jorge Garcia could play the Squid."
Ditto.
You guys are all idiots.
Rosie O'Donnell should play the Squid.
No one else that Tony lists is angry enough!
LOLZ on this post and all the comments.
Really good stuff guys.
Someone wake me up when Tony get's over this boring crap already.
I vote for Danny DeVito in drag.
we need an angry, pissed off, hickish, uneducated and butt ugly actor or actress...
Might have to train the troll to play herself.
As mentioned above, Rosie O'Donnell should play the "Squid". She is at least angry, pissed off, hickish, and butt ugly (don't know about her education). Sorry to borrow your lines there toadstool.
I hear Kristie Ally is bulking up for the part even now...Jenny Craig be damned.
Oh gawd, you're STILL obsessed with Joe Miller?
Joe's book was a good read.
Squitero needs to play herself to earn the money needed to pay her lawyer.
She would probably screw up playing herself.
Yeah, uh huh. .Joe's book sucked. That's why it made a number of "Best Books of 2006" lists.
http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA6388182.html?display=current
I'm sure if the "more talented" Tony wrote a book (say, on how to eat 500 Twinkies in 5 minutes) he would have to self-publish.
Yeah, uh huh. .Joe's book sucked. That's why it made a number of "Best Books of 2006" lists.
http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA6388182.html?display=current
I'm sure if the "more talented" Tony wrote a book (say, on how to eat 500 Twinkies in 5 minutes) he would have to self-publish.
I would pay to see someone eat 500 twinkies in 5 min, but I am easily amused.
I didn't care for Joe's book, even though my husband works with Mrs. Rinehart and he thinks the world of her. Joe's book just didn't appeal to me. Lots of books on best books lists don't appeal to me, so that's not a gold standard for everyone.
Lots of choices to play Gloria, but since Lurch died ages ago who will play Funk?
Joe's book was typical garbage. You should have heard about the guy whining about how he couldn't get on Oprah. It was a real indication of where his heart was at. On the other hand, I haven't read Tony's book. Where is that one?
Hey informed readers: does Tony really live with his moms or is that just schtick?
Tony lives under a rock. Like his blog.
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