You know, there have been a few times in my life that I have been given mercy and I've been very grateful and never forgotten the generosity. Therefore, I'm going to return the favor . . . Kinda.
Without too much commentary, I'm just going to let Gloria Squitiro speak for herself. Remember, she's not running a satire/joke/sarcasm blog . . . She's being serious. And if she listened very closely, she might hear that Mayor Funky still has some very loyal supporters but absolutely NO ONE is defending her.
Anyway, here is this week's INSANE passage from the Funky newsletter that really just serves to undermine the Funkhouser Administration.
Since the campaign, I’ve been going with the flow and accepting, quite graciously for me, less husbandly-ness around the house, but the wives will understand when I say that there is a line that husbands can’t cross and still expect us to be understanding. The DMV was my line – I wasn’t about to take over this horrific duty for him. Having to pay the ticket we got for our tardiness was both our punishment.It gets better, oh my Lord it gets better:
The letter to the editor did leave me pondering why the woman had so much anger towards us about a pretty normal oversight that many families find themselves contending with. Then it dawned on me – it’s the whole “haves” and “have-nots” issue at play. To her, we probably seem like the “haves.” I’m guessing in her mind, we surely must be in order for Funk to have gotten elected.Oh man, I have to catch my breath!!!!
Whew.
It's really hard to take in something this INCREDIBLY STUPID.
Her "newsletter" doesn't even qualify as good blogging and is dangerously amateurish for an "official" media outlet of the Mayor.
I promised I wasn't gonna weigh down Ms. Squitiro's words with commentary but OH MY GAWD!!!
She very well may be the WORST political wife in HISTORY. I know Lincoln had his problems when Mary Todd went insane from the syph but this is almost as bad in terms of utter embarrassment.
In the last two quotes I highlighted the Mayor's wife equates a serious political question about leadership by example (from a voter nonetheless) to petty personal insights with a smattering of her twisted and nearly indecipherable world view that was drawn out over several paragraphs.
Her newsletter isn't even good blogging . . . It's just embarrassing and without question the voters in Kansas City deserve better from the Funkhouser Administration.
Finally, her embarrassing plea for support for a Mayor who was elected by a razor thin margin is not only unskilled but also shows more desperation than any elected official of a major metropolitan City should be comfortable with revealing.
Please continue to help us to help you by lending your support to Funk each Thursday. If there is an issue on the Legislative docket that is important to you, let us know how you’d like Funk to vote. If he’s voting your way, please call your council members and ask that they support him with their vote as well. If he’s not voting your way, give our office a call and try to convince him to see things your way. Remember, the man is not averse to changing his mind.That's the kind of Government the Funkhouser Administration is advocating? It seems that she's promoting the dangerous notion that our Democracy in Kansas City should be run like something akin to a call-in talk show.
Really, that's how we're going to gauge public opinion? Sending in e-mail and weighing public support as if City Hall was just another contest like American Idol; that's the reform for "regular folk" that Funkhouser champions? God, I hope not.
Truly, I don't believe that this kind of naive, unskilled and incompetent approach to City government is what the Mayor really wants or what his (mostly unskilled) staff has advocated. Therefore:
It's time to take the keyboard away from Gloria Squitiro before she does any more damage.
And I'm not doing this for my own benefit but simply because some of Mayor Funky's goals seem to be worthwhile and his Administration deserves a shot to make some change without having to contend with the albatross of Ms. Squitro's personality around their neck.
In fact, if Ms. Squitiro's role in the Mayor's Office is not PUBLICLY diminished with some sort of statement by The Mayor then TKC has no choice but to wage an all out rhetorical assault against the undue influence of this woman WHO NO ONE VOTED FOR, whose prominence at City Hall wreaks of nepotism and whose role in the Funkhouser Administration has led to one PR disaster after the next.
And don't think I'm kidding. I'm hella smart (not really) but there are other folks that I've talked to that seem willing to help and if Gloria's role in the Mayor's office is not substantially diminished then the Mayor might face a recall and will definitely lose his bid for re-election that comes soon than anybody thinks.
I'm giving the people from The Mayor's Office until noon on Tuesday to respond.
If I don't hear from them then I can only assume that the Mayor endorses all of Gloria Squitiro's crazy rhetoric, vapid analysis of important political issues and her petty personal approach to politics . . . Subsequently, by refusing to respond to this post it will be clear that Mayor Funkhouser's goals as the leader of this City aren't as important as catering to the grand ego of a woman for whom NO ONE VOTED.
Hey posted your link on web page.
ReplyDeleteMinus the jabs, that was actually a pretty constructive critique. Tony's going soft.
ReplyDeleteGood post Tony.
ReplyDeleteThe sad part is that Funk's most powerful critics, enemies and opponents aren't saying a word.
They're letting Funk do all the work for them. Funk and Gloria don't seem to understand that.
The small-minded Funkerly Hillbillies seem to think that their worst enemies are criticizing them now. Little do they know their worst enemies right now are silent. Why would they waste valuable money and media assets when it's not needed?
Gloria is doing much more harm to Funk than his worst enemy can do, and she has the ultimate credibility.
that's what wives do. When you get one you'll understand better.
ReplyDeleteAsk the married girl bloggers.
Gloria - Your husband is the Mayor of Kansas City. You don't have a job. Put on some fucking shoes and go get the tags renewed. The people of KC are paying Funk WAY too much money to be standing in line at the DMV. Nobody cares how much time you waste, how inconvenienced you are or whether you enjoy it. Your husbands time is more important than yours now. Get used to it.
ReplyDeleteYou've wasted more than enough bandwidth on this subject. Get over your obsession with the mayor's wife. Their are more important and funnier things going on in this city and you get hung up on a blip on the radar screen. You have no perspective.
ReplyDeleteUffda!
ReplyDeletePerspective?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 8:20 there is only one perspective on this subject: Shoe-less Gloria, is a kook who is so self-centered that she will not admit that she is destroying her husband's career, which ultimately has an impact on the entire city.
Tony, you are right, it is time for the mayor to put an end to this failed experiment. If anything, such an action would save Mayor Funkhouser's damaged term in office.
Every Thursday, Funk faces defeat after defeat in Council Chambers because he allowed his family to spend, if not burn, all his political capital. A wife wondering around without shoes ruling by fiat -- she is neither employee nor elected official. Tales of a daughter streaking through the mayor's office wrapped in a towel. Photos of the first couple posed in a way verging on PDA that are at the very least "uncomfortable" to look at and newsletters with that constantly refer to the Mayor's husbandly duties etc. This has gone beyond weird, it is destructive.
Democracy does not work when government rests in the hands of a "Royal Family" who operates beyond the realm of public accountability. Opposition on council, or the city staff, or the community at large all of a sudden becomes an attack on the mayor's family. In reality it is a response to what the mayor's family is doing to his service in office and eventually the city as a whole.
Politically speaking, council members no longer have to worry how the will explain voting against the mayor. On the contrary, the political concern has to be how they will explain voting WITH the mayor. Which actually serves to empower some of the very special interests that Funk campaigned against.
Many people voted for Funk because they wanted a mayor who who had the technical knowledge and the public support to stand up to the Development Lobby in City Hall. The mayor is no longer able to do that in an effective way. He has squandered good will on the Council and good feelings in the neighborhoods. There is no escaping the fact that most of the mayor's problems go back to one woman who was neither elected no hired.
I am disappointed that Funk showed the lack of judgment to get himself into this mess, but if he does not act to correct the problem, one has to question his judgment all the more.
I had hoped Gloria would see the handwriting on the wall and gracefully "pursue other interests" but that time has past. If Funk will not take action, I believe it is time to explore what statutes might apply to this situation and bring an end to The Gloria Revolution.
Another funny post from one of my favorite joke sites. The best part was where you repeated your thought about her newsletter not being good blogging. That was a truly hilarious method of satirizing the out-of-control, unthinking, irrational hatred that some people think should pass as discourse.
ReplyDeleteYou are a subtle genius, Tony. Very subtle.
Dan,what is it like to drink the Kool-Aid? Did you have any doubts at the last minute? Was serpent handling easier?
ReplyDeleteThe Mayor's man Dan doing damage control again. The Kitchen Cabinet trying to clean up once more.
ReplyDeleteI at least hope Dan is getting some billable hours out of the whole thing.
Oh. come on, this is a joke blog, and you shouldn't take things seriously. Tony was obviously imitating an insane person, with the repeated rants random capitalization and bold letters. If you missed the joke, I feel kind of sorry for you.
ReplyDeleteAnd Dan, who might you be imitating?
ReplyDelete:o)
Dan, you have been blogging for a long time but you are looking pathetic as you try to clean up this mess. This carrying water for the Mayor is destroying your credibility and harming others you support politically.
ReplyDeleteI do not enjoy having to write this but it is the truth, Dan. The post here and the post on The Front Porch are really embarrassing to everyone associated with you.
That said, I hope if you are going to continue along that path you will please stop with campaigning for Jason Kander. Those of us who would like to see Jason win the state rep seat he is running for feel that your association with the Mayor makes a new political face like Jason look bad. Please stop.
Thanks, anonymous 2:49, for the anonymous advice. I assume that you, too, are a satirist, anonymously attempting to lecture me about credibility.
ReplyDeleteI'm not cleaning up any mess here, or carrying any water. I'm just admiring Tony's jokes, and appreciating subtle humor such as yours. You guys are great.
Hilarious - a lecture on credibility from someone too gutless to type his name. We anonymous people ought to feel a little sheepish when we slam real people, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteI voted for and supported the Funk but always found Mrs.G to be a bit of a troll and I was concerned about her 'roll' from the very beginning. While I think the media, including Tony makes to much of the situation, she really isn't acting in a very professional manner.
ReplyDeleteBut then again neither did she on the campaign trail. When I tried to interact with her she was always a bit aloof and distant, like I was trying to sell her something instead of getting to know someone who was going to be co-running my local government.
Now I just wish she would go away.
Didn't you used to support Mark Funkhouser?
ReplyDeletehttp://youtube.com/watch?v=fI369UAXgC8
Yoko Squitiro?
ReplyDeleteWho the hell is Dan?
ReplyDeleteMary Todd Lincoln didn't have the syph, she lived many quasi-productive years after Lincoln was killed. She spent 3 months in a sanitarium following the shooting.
ReplyDeleteSo on your spectrum Gloria actually is THE worst.
Whether Mary Todd Lincoln had mental illness stemming from Syphilis or a more organic cause, or whether Tony confused her with Christie Todd Whitman -- another Republican bitch who probably qualified for an STD or two -- I loved the reference Tony.
ReplyDeleteThe mental illness part of the story is very well documented -- beyond just being a Republican woman. Gore Vidal opined that Syphilis might have explained the early deaths of the 3 of the Lincoln children, and Abe used to have to pay for affection on the circuit rides.
What is also interesting to ponder is whether Frances Semler channels Mary Todd Lincoln, who was also a notorious bigot who opposed the constitutional foundation of the Union by supporting the Confederacy. Sounds like our Parks Board member has a couple of things in common with the former first lady who battled with insanity and bigotry. I know, I know, Frances, I bet you really love "the dark ones" as long as they "know their place." Let's just keep the parks "safe." Snipers in the trees should do it.
Let me shout-out to Mainstream who is making more sense since he or she opened his or her eyes to Funk's problems. Progress is good.
I am right there with you Mainstream, actually I wonder whether we met in "the double wide" during more hopeful times.
As far as Dan goes, a whimper-out to him: Do not hammer anonymous posters -- YOU hid behind a blogger name for years until The Star outed you - and then you cried on various blogs about it. Give me a break, you righteous indignation is less than credible. Brush off your knee pads and stand up.
Haven't been spending time on my knees, Hoodrat, though perhaps I should get down on them and pray for you to realize the difference between pseudonymous and anonymous.
ReplyDeleteThere isn't a difference, really, between pseudonymous and anonymous. Dan, there's probably a legalistic difference, but not one that would be relevant to legal laypeople.
ReplyDeleteUnless you're a paleontologist and I've mistaken those terms for extinct reptiles.
Hoodrat, could you be, dare I say, speaking truth to power? (I really hate that phrase, but it was overused in the campaign).
Perhaps we did run into each other. I think you, as I do, have a few great memories, and for some reason I always think back having to walk on eggshells because Maria was running around (and you didn't want to step on her) and she was toting around a pencil in her mouth like she was a black lab retrieving a stick.
The memories and idealism, they were great.
The fact that their children have HER last name and not his speaks volumes about her--and him.
ReplyDeleteTales of a daughter streaking through the mayor's office wrapped in a towel
ReplyDeleteOk, I haven't heard that. Care to share more details?
Maybe Gloria needs her own blog called Funks Laundry Hamper, run by Gloria. Then they can air all their silly laundry in public.
ReplyDeleteIf you think her Funky newsletter is bad, you should have lived through the torture of her Christmas family newsletters.
ReplyDeleteluke you didn't have to live with crazy bitch,i did
ReplyDelete