You cannot have it all

The Star pretty much has the worst business section of any major metropolitan paper I've ever seen so I don't read it very often, I normally turn to Ingram's or the KC Biz Journal for my local biz news. However, I recently got around to reading a column by Kevin Collision that not only proved to be further evidence that the entire editorial staff of The Star has devoted to themselves to nothing but pushing Funkhouser down the throats of their readers but also that most Star columnists are utterly clueless as to how things really work in this town.

The following passage should reveal that a great many writers working in the Biz section of this town's paper of record are as hopelessly naive as a Star Trek fan on the subject of women's erogenous zones (non-Klingon).

You would think it's impossible for the city to fix neighborhood problems and rebuild a downtown we can be proud of and where young, educated adults will want to stick around.

The theory that using tax incentives automatically harms the delivery of fundamental services is open for debate. City Hall had problems taking care of basics long before the current downtown revitalization began. Halting the incentives probably would not be a solution to our basic-services issues.

In other words, this is the lie that Funkhouser supporters would have you believe if life in this town wasn't akin to a Ph.D. level seminar in Dualism.

It's always one thing over another in Kansas City. This whole election boils down to nothing but Black vs. White, TIF vs. City services and Crime vs. talking about anything other than crime.

People often make this mistake but from what I've seen . . . Life is made up of choices and nobody can have it all. Here are a few examples:

You can have a career OR a family . . . I won't even be sexist and say this just goes for women . . . But honestly, if you want to make a lot of money then you don't need a ball and chain or rug rats tying you down. People who think they have it all end up with kids raised by Mexican maids and surprisingly fluent in Spanish; which comes in handy when those same kids end up in jail.

Have fun OR save money . . . Again, everybody wants to think this isn't true until it's time to pick up the tab.

Security vs. Excitement . . . I've garnered this tid bit of wisdom by listening to the complaints of every woman who has ever married well or is hooked up with someone serving in the military overseas. There is nothing exciting about working toward a stable future or doing the honorable thing. Time after time I've seen broads who should be dedicated given all of the nice stuff they've accumulated or their public protestation of fidelity but somehow they all end up grinding on very good looking Black guys at America's Pub. Quick fact that every dude should know: There is no woman on the planet who will be loyal in your absence for longer than 1 month and 15 days. Sorry.

But I digress . . .

The point here is that Kansas City has some tough choices ahead and contrary to what campaigners might tell you . . . This town will have to make sacrifices one way or another.

Do we deal with the impending doom that's lying underground (non-CHUD) in our long neglected infrastructure and risk turning this town into another Des Moines?

Or do we continue down the same (stereotypical) path? And hope that the wheels don't fall off our shiny new Cadillac while letting every deep pocket cash in as we hope for some lottery-like payoff in the not too distant future?

I was talking to a very smart person about this not too long ago and he put it as the choice between a Cadillac and a Corolla.

That sounds about right . . . Nobody ever wants to drive a Corolla but in the end it's the finances that win out . . . And the Cadillac will definitely attract women and prestige but good luck in keeping up the payments.

Personally, I drive a truck, I'm Latino and don't stand to benefit much no matter who wins so I tend to think that none of it concerns me that much at all.