The Kansas City hospitality on tour

Strange, the people of Des Moines didn't know that when somebody from KC (especially somebody in a stolen car) asks you for directions . . . The best thing to do is run. A bizarre attack on a guy riding a bike is just one reason why:

Gary Cornelius was minding his own business in downtown Des Moines early Saturday when when he was stopped by men in a truck who appeared to be lost.

Cornelius began giving them directions, but was interrupted by one of the men, who told him to get off his bike.

Police said the men grabbed the bike away from him and began to destroy it. They slammed it on the pavement. After damaging the brakes, the frame and the front wheel the men ran into an apartment building.

An appropriate response to somebody from KC asking you directions might have been:

Do I look like Mapquest?

I'm not from here.

Que?

I'm lost too.

What does something like that pay?

Anyway, I know I stopped giving people directions when I realized that everybody just wanted to know how to get to The Plaza. So now, I simply send everyone who asks for directions to 18th and Vine no matter where they are headed and I remind them to lock their doors.