Can we ever trust Asian people again?

Life is like Asian food, you never know what you're gonna get.

I'm sorry folks, this post may not seem relevant to you but I'm dealing with some really serious personal turmoil right now . . . See, I basically live off of Chinese food and now come to find out that a local Asian market was indicted Thursday for allegedly selling dirty meat to customers. This is the worst kind of betrayal because when I (never) order pork liver, I don't want inedible pork lungs instead. A guy has to have standards . . . Also, people who deride stereotypes about Korean food have never heard meows and barks coming from a kitchen or understood that Kim Jong-il is going to kill us all and not Osama.

This is so sad to me because we have made so much progress since December 7th and the subsequent stereotype that all Asian people are horribly sneaky. But now my trust has been put to the test again and I'm almost considering becoming a vegetarian if I didn't believe that homosexuality was a sin.

Never mind that there are many different varieties of "Chinamen" in Kansas City ranging from the gangster like Viet Cong in the Northeast to the valley girl Viet Cong in the suburbs of JoCo. But I digress . . . This isn't about ethnicity, it's about putrid ethnic food.

The prospect of our local friends from the far east serving up 9,000 pounds of tainted food in KC is just plain scary and makes me reminisce about the good old days when the same Asian market was owned by the Italians who only ground up their cousins and Jimmy Hoffa once in a while to add flavor to the meatballs they provided . . . Ah, this melting pot of different cultures in KC wouldn't be so bad if we could all promise to limit the amount of uninspected food that's unfit for human consumption into the mix. But expecting multiculturalism to have any limits is downright pigheaded.

On a final note, this is a true story: My Grandma grew up in Texas during WWII. I was told, very matter-of-factly, that on her way home from school she regularly walked by the Internment (read: Concentration) camps for the Japanese-Americans and made fun of them with the children's classic slant eyed gestures . . . Before you get too down on her, just remember that she didn't build the camps . . . White people like you did.