Star Struck: See Skanks Smile

Miss America, Jennifer Berry, came to the Kansas City Zoo to hand out free ice cream and speak out against drunken driving and underage drinking.
- Yes kids, listen and learn from this woman who is merely two or three steps above a prostitute. The evolutionary ladder goes something like this: hooker -> stripper -> waitress -> beauty pageant contestant and then Hillary Clinton. Somewhere in between a young woman might spend time dating a Chiefs player.

Candidates offer visions for county
- They all wear glasses. Isn't it ironic, don'tcha think?

Science City summer camp rocks
- Poor, poor man who was paid to write this batch of PR lies.

Host of party found guilty in underage drinker's death
- Always better to drink alone.

Program pays addicts to use birth control
- Old issue gets local spin as racist program probably doesn't offer money to upper class white women addicted to shopping, promoting social causes that don't affect them, talking and guilt trips.

Up against the wall
- Activity promotes eye-hand coordination as well as fitness benefits and offers local kids an opportunity to see what life is like for a minority.

The Dime Store in Brookside was a local favorite for decades. It recently closed. Here's what the local have to say about it.
- Yeah, don't believe a word of it. People are always great for giving nostalgic quotes but then they take their money straight to Starbucks.

Traffic issues topped the list of concerns regarding the redevelopment plan of North Oak Trafficway during a public meeting last week.
- How can we help Kansas City get to the suburbs more efficiently? Bastards.

So exactly when is the "slave master" gonna get killed?

Under new rules, gays will no longer be banned from foster program.
- OR . . . Yet another reason why adopted kids get beat up in school.