TKC Ketchup: Tastes like Ass

It's good to be back my friends, d-bags and other enemies who clandestinely read this blog. I'm glad a few of you wondered about my absence but the truth is that I could disappear off the face of the planet and The Star, The Pitch or some other corporate entity could probably find some Mexican do to this thing for cheap. But it still wouldn't be the same.

Somebody smarter than me said something important that I didn't forget, I think it was the guy who invented RSS and he was speaking about bloggers in relation to the mainstream media and what he said was basically this (paraphrasing): The root of the word amateur is love. No matter how many mainstream media outlets fuck with me I have to remind myself that none of them would do their job for free. Now, I don't liken this blog to a job (because I don't suck at it) but I will say that I'm better than all but 2 of the columnists at The Star and I won't compare myself to anybody at The Pitch because I fear that close contact will cause a rash.

Still, I don't want you to think that I took off for any reason in particular. I once heard a really cool guy say this to someone else and I do believe it's the most satisfying phrase you can utter in English. Here it is:

"I don't owe you a fucking thing."

Ah, that's nice but I love, like, respect, enjoy all of you peeps coming to this little hell hole on the web and I don't want to disappoint to often so you can take your pick of the following reasons I didn't post yesterday. They're all pretty much true:

1. Sleeping
2. Working on a paying gig.
3. Crying while eating
4. Blogging under a pseudonym: "Mr. Happy Pants" over at a Star Trek/Kay Barnes erotica site. We all pretend she's Captain Kathryn Janeway and then we take turns making up freaky alien gangbang stories.
5. Leaking details about global banking information and the War on Terrorism.

Sooo, it was good to take a day off and reset. And now I'm back, I'm 1/32nd Black (true) and I'm mad.

Here's a few of the links I read but missed:

Gates Foundation Helps KC School
-A lot of the money is going to the new Cristo Rey School in town. Good news that Bill loves Mexicans more than local conservatives or the KCMO School District.

Court Reinstates Internet Sex Conviction
- Pervs and cops talk dirty to each other in order to help the babies.

Poll: McCaskill Leading Talent For Senate Seat
- Local blogger Dan has the most intelligent opinion about Talent in a recent post. However, I can't say that Claire doesn't scare me as well. Strange how a wicked witch just might be the lesser of two evils.

UMKC Group Reports Parkinson's Breakthrough
- Does not involve using them to mix drinks at local bars.

Security Guard Shoots Man Inside KCK Bank
- The guy he shot didn't have a gun and reportedly wasn't going to rob the bank. Rent-a-cops shouldn't make anybody feel safe.

Man, Woman Accused in Double Shooting

Web Site With Death Records Gets 1 Million Hits
- Appetite for German porn reaches new low.

Teen Mom Slain by Girlfriend, 16
- Another episode of "When Keeping it Real goes wrong" that Dave Chappelle should have recorded if the Tall Israelis weren't too busy selling him out and keeping him down.

Supreme Court Rules Kansas Death Penalty Law Constitutional
- Jesus hates evolution, apparently doesn't mind killing poor people.

Plan For Red-Light Cameras Moves Forward
- Insurance companies, domestic spying advocates and a city that won't tax condo dwellers but would love to raise the levy on people trying to get to work . . . Well, they're all in favor of keeping an eye on you. Big Brother needs a buck.

KC man charged with sex trafficking involving three minors
Attention liberals and hip-hop fans. This article clearly illustrates why the term "pimp" will never have a truly cheery connotation.

Missouri has a long history of horrible politicos
- It's the truth not the news. Those words are rarely in the same sentence.

Jerkoff who wants to sell a shirt thinks I'm stupid but I'm gonna give him a link even though I think he just called me a wetback.