From The Star: My thanks to thee fair bitches wenches

Henry V coming to KC
- I don't really have a smart ass remark about this . . . I've always loved this play and the Heart of America Shakespeare Festival. It's one of the best things about this town and I'm actually excited because this is one of my favorite plays or at least the one work of Shakespeare that isn't openly ghey.

50th birthday of the interstate highway system
- Connecting commuters and convicts on the run. Who says white welfare is a bad thing?

Fraud case may end in plea agreement
- Baby got bail.

A man possibly linked to the Alieghya Clark disappearance appears in court in a separate proceeding

Teenage girls learn lessons at firefighting camp
- Thankfully, this is not another exposé of (18+) girls, cameras and mostly married firefighters.

Ugly ass red panda born at the KC Zoo
- City pays for pricey care of what you might otherwise mistake for roadkill.

Rep. Patricia Kilpatrick just lost a job and faces an ethics panel today over campaign violations.
- Reason number #3,428 why you should never vote for women.

"All he has ever known was work," Betty Shrout said. "That was his hobby."
- This is the one of the best obituaries I've ever read. If it doesn't make you think of your father, grandfather or other male figures in your life then you're probably a loser.

Summer homework for nerds kids
- Or phony article intended to make parents forget all of the petty crime and nasty/unsafe things that most kids engage in during the summer while their parents are working.