Catchy PR in Kansas City

A local syphilis outreach campaign has recently received a national award. The City's website reports that in response to a 300 percent increase in syphilis in a year in the metro, the "Did You Take SyPHILis Home Last Night?" campaign aimed at building awareness for prevention methods, as well as promoting free and confidential syphilis testing and treatment was lauded as a step in the right direction . . . Another step in the right direction would be a step away from causal, unprotected sex with some skanky stranger. But it's all good . . . Except for STD's, those aren't very good.

Here are the top five euphemisms for safer sex that we use in my family:

5. Wrap it up.
4. Wear your raincoat.
3. Use plastic please.
2. "Don't come crying to me when something goes wrong and you get some tramp pregnant or worse. I didn't get to have the fun of screwing her so I don't see why I should have to deal with the consequences. You dumbass."
1. Don't forget to put on your sombrero.

Careful out there kids.