Charlie, Last Name Wilson

Segregation in Kansas City is apparent in almost all aspects of everyday life. Like many other cities, KC worked its way around the Midwestern manifestations of Jim Crow when all the white people left town and headed for the suburbs seeing that legislating where the darkies could live was no longer an option. The effects of this can still be felt today in where we live, who we know and what we listen to and see. In fact, I was visiting my girlfriend last night and wondered why every person I’ve ever seen pulled over by the police in Johnson County has been black. Seriously, I’ve seen white girls doing 80mph down Metcalf with their tits hanging out, white powder on their nose and a bottle of vodka in their hand and the only thing it elicits from the fuzz is a smile.

Anyway, like my favorite crack addict Dave Chappelle says: “It doesn’t happen often, but when racism works in black people’s favor . . . it’s fucking sweet.” This principle of beneficent racism has manifested itself in KC in the form of the local black radio station KPRS. The station has a proud history, but it’s mainly the place where people in KC listen to R&B and Rap that’s too black (er, urban. Sigh.) for mainstream radio.

Lately, I’ve been listening to a song is currently in heavy rotation on KPRS. It’s an incredible tune by former Gap Band front man Charlie Wilson. Now if you don’t know The Gap Band then you don’t know shit. Their music is a profound mixture of late 70’s funk with an early 80’s pop appeal. Additionally, Mexicans love The Gap Band. I would go so far to say that Mexicans love The Gap Band more than black people do. This is a bad analogy but think of Jerry Lewis and the French but way more funky and soulful.

In fact, a few years ago I was at a local Lowrider show and some short Chicano was blasting the Gap Band from his ’66 Impala and he confirmed my assumptions. “Dude, that’s right. The Gap Band is crazy old school. That’s all I play on Saturday. All day. That’s right Mang.” I thought to myself for a second, “Well put, Pedro. Now mind your fucking eight children.” But I just nodded and sung along to “Early in the Morning.”

Back to the new track . . . it’s a really cheeseball song with insanely schmaltzy lyrics but damn if Charlie Wilson doesn’t make it sound so sincere. Here’s a sample:

“Hey girl, How you doin'
My name is Charile, last name Wilson
I was wonderin' if I could take you out
Show you a good time, invite you to my house
Here is my number, girl you can call me
And don't forget it baby, the name is Charlie”

Amazing. The thing I like about this song is that it describes a horrible pick up that seems to go well. Some dumb looking guy lays a stupid line on a woman and she happens to buy it. However, the song goes on to reveal that the dude is so lonely that he must be a somewhat decent guy:

“With all of this fortune, what am I doin' single
Sometimes I tell myself, "Man, get out and mingle"
You don't have to be alone, you need someone to love
But being famous sometimes it's hard to find someone to trust
But the hell with that this time, I'm gonna treat myself
Being in love is good for your health
It's time to share this fortune and fame with someone else
Now that I'm in this club, I might as well, yea”

Okay, there’s plenty bling references there but like I wrote earlier, the Wilson brothers have always had a pop allure. I imagine that once the lovebirds head back to his place the girl is only mildly disappointed to find out that Charlie lives in a studio apartment overlooking wino alley. Still, I can’t help but think of my girlfriend and how well I conned her into going out with me whenever this song plays. Additionally, there probably hasn’t been a better song for slowly humping the one you love since Luther’s last recording. Suffice it to say, both the kitschy lyrics and the resonant soulful delivery makes this track one of my favorite new tunes.