Theoretical
Theoretical
In a recent poll, 31 percent of a sample group of Kansas voters said that educators should offer theories other than evolution.
Awesome! Here are some alternative theories:
- Man did not evolve from apes. Talking monkeys and other hand signing simians propagate this myth, lest we discover that monkeys posses the most delicious, carb free, protein enriched flesh on the planet. Little known fact: Monkey meat also whitens teeth.
- The fossil record is a lie. Pirates who don’t want you finding their buried treasure are just fucking with you.
- Adaptation is also a falsehood as evidence by the thousands of Kansas who still think it’s 1952.
Additionally . . .
- Condoms cause cancer. It’s not really related but I just thought I’d throw that one in there to go along with all the other theories.
In a recent poll, 31 percent of a sample group of Kansas voters said that educators should offer theories other than evolution.
Awesome! Here are some alternative theories:
- Man did not evolve from apes. Talking monkeys and other hand signing simians propagate this myth, lest we discover that monkeys posses the most delicious, carb free, protein enriched flesh on the planet. Little known fact: Monkey meat also whitens teeth.
- The fossil record is a lie. Pirates who don’t want you finding their buried treasure are just fucking with you.
- Adaptation is also a falsehood as evidence by the thousands of Kansas who still think it’s 1952.
Additionally . . .
- Condoms cause cancer. It’s not really related but I just thought I’d throw that one in there to go along with all the other theories.
posted by Tony Permalink
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