Another Year Older . . .
Today is my birthday. Don’t send me any congratulations, I have an e-mail program that automatically responds with: “Screw you blog reading poser. Try as hard as you want space monkeys, you’ll never take my cheese! You go to hell, you go to hell and you die!” (You’d be surprised how much that generic response covers) But thank you for the sentiments and if you feel inclined to celebrate my happy day, then give the finger to the screen while watching the local television news or when conducting your daily masturbation ritual think about Kelly Eckerman for a moment OR after you finish your paper quietly mutter to yourself and anyone standing around you in the unemployment office . . . “it’s all lies.”
Anyway, it’s been a good year and I’m thankful that I have completed another 365 day orbit around the Sun and survived to still convert oxygen into CO2 more efficiently than ever. Additionally, I’m very happy that I’ve found a new girlfriend and that we’ve become swingers . . . mood swingers! Har! That one cracked me up and left her giving me an expression similar to something that you might shoot at a mentally challenged kid who just spilled ice cream all over himself.
Last night I was bothering her while she was watching ‘Six Feet Under’ and captured this photo of my schweetie looking vaguely annoyed while she was trying to watch TV and I was shoving a camera in her face:
If I had the software to convert the photo set into an animation you would have seen her spring to her feet as her fist moved toward the camera. Then you might have seen a few shots of the ultra depressing TV program as the camera and I dropped to the floor.
Later, after awaking from my stupor, we talked about birthdays and we both came to the conclusion that they are wasted (like most things) on children. The older you get, birthdays should become a bigger deal and a 100th birthday should be like one of those mythic Greek orgies or at least a 50 Cent video. It doesn’t take much to make it out of grade school BUT surviving your 20’s, 30’s and so on . . . that’s an accomplishment.
Anyway, it’s been a good year and I’m thankful that I have completed another 365 day orbit around the Sun and survived to still convert oxygen into CO2 more efficiently than ever. Additionally, I’m very happy that I’ve found a new girlfriend and that we’ve become swingers . . . mood swingers! Har! That one cracked me up and left her giving me an expression similar to something that you might shoot at a mentally challenged kid who just spilled ice cream all over himself.
Last night I was bothering her while she was watching ‘Six Feet Under’ and captured this photo of my schweetie looking vaguely annoyed while she was trying to watch TV and I was shoving a camera in her face:
If I had the software to convert the photo set into an animation you would have seen her spring to her feet as her fist moved toward the camera. Then you might have seen a few shots of the ultra depressing TV program as the camera and I dropped to the floor.
Later, after awaking from my stupor, we talked about birthdays and we both came to the conclusion that they are wasted (like most things) on children. The older you get, birthdays should become a bigger deal and a 100th birthday should be like one of those mythic Greek orgies or at least a 50 Cent video. It doesn’t take much to make it out of grade school BUT surviving your 20’s, 30’s and so on . . . that’s an accomplishment.
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