Sexy Scoop

The Pitch describes all the dirty details of the mess involving Tony Pena and his penis. More importantly, the story describes how the local media sat on the coverage of what would be a sexy scandal in any other town:

Within minutes, radio stations were directing their listeners to the story. By that evening, three television outlets -- KCTV Channel 5, WDAF Fox 4, and Jack Harry's KSHB Channel 41 -- had confirmed the story on their own and described it in brief reports. Old-school KMBC Channel 9, however, didn't mention the news at all. (Jack Harry, meanwhile, began accepting congratulations from his on-air colleagues that he'd broken the story -- a story whose details he has yet to actually report.)

The next morning, the Star made two brief mentions of an alleged affair without naming the Lockes. By that afternoon, last Thursday, sports radio had turned its attention to debates over who should next lead the Royals.

The story, as far as Kansas City media were concerned, was over.(The KC Strip)

Read every word of this awesome story, I did. But sadly, midway through I realized that nobody cares who winners are fucking. Someone should tell our local teams that all of those Westport skanks they screw are fair game as long as the score on the field is right. Hell, even if a groupie slut cried rape I don't think anybody would hear it over the cheering for a playoff team. Think about it this way: Nobody ever cared how many kids Michael Jackson was hanging with when his records were selling. If that's not incentive I don't know what qualifies.

In related news, the fucking hopeless Royals lost again last night.